Chapter Five - Adrienne

“Nobody ever gets what they want when it comes to love.” - Scott Turow

  Adrienne flinched when she heard the sound of Daniel's key unlocking the front door. She gathered together the designs she'd been working on for the past hour and slid them into her portfolio. It had been such a drag just sitting around that she managed to get quite a bit of work done. She'd also managed to rearrange Daniel's sock drawer so that he didn't have to dig to the bottom anymore when he was running late for work. She'd come to realise that the average person sported a number of different socks depending on the situation; work socks, gym socks, casual socks, around-the-house socks, tradie socks and bed socks. When this simple fact clicked in her mind, Adrienne sighed after a pensive laugh discovering that perhaps her life was not heading where she always thought it would.

She'd also attempted to get a walk in. She just wanted to wander the streets and pretend for a minute that she was someone else; maybe she could've been a Jessica. She could've been a reverently beautiful woman still brimming with opportunity and purpose. She could've had a darling husband to arrive home to who welcomed her with a bunch of white lilies and a cute compliment on her idiosyncratic infectious laugh. She could've sung in the kitchen while she cooked the dinner and be scooped up into a spontaneous romantic waltz while the meat rested. She could've collected together numerous articles of clothing to give to charity, changed her hairstyle every week, invite around her friends for an evening cocktail and sit at the piano while her fingers danced across the keys. She liked Jessica. Quite often she'd immerse herself in these wonderful ideas.

Her walks never lasted though. Sometimes she hoped she'd spend enough time wishing to be someone else that eventually the universe would grant her this privilege but it never happened. By the time she came back down to earth, the wonders of Jessica had evaporated and she was back where she began. Home, alone and isolated.

'Babe?' The front door clicked shut and steel capped footsteps approached the living room where Adrienne began busying herself with fierce cleaning.

'I'm beat.' Daniel dropped his briefcase by the doorway and perched himself onto the edge of a chair. He sat and watched Adrienne with hungry eyes, his lips strung up at the corners into a suggestive grin.

Adrienne continued wiping over the table as she felt his eyes wandering over her. He always did this to make her feel uncomfortable and hell, did it work. Adrienne never saw herself as attractive; she had mousy brown hair, was average height and a little soft around the midriff, eczema flared up on the insides of her elbows producing blotchy red skin and she always found that every inch of her face expelled sadness. She hated the dark circles under her eyes from stressing during the night about sleeping next to Daniel who she'd come to view as a mere stranger. The only way she felt half decent was when she caked on makeup; it was the only way to transform this sodden miserable housewife into a eloquent character.

'How was your day?' Adrienne met his gaze briefly to tune him back into reality. She was always so determined to hear about how her workplace was going. She desired to be back there and if it meant she had to live it through him, then so be it, she'd take anything she could get.

'There was some hoo-haa around positions and promotions but nothing to do with me.' Daniel grabbed a beer from the fridge and upon cracking it open strode straight to the lounge room. 'There was also a kid in the park. A young girl. Kind of late, I would've thought.'

Adrienne paused when she heard this. He said it so bluntly, like the young girl could've been causing a nuisance rather than insinuating she might've landed in some sort of danger.

'Did you stop?' Adrienne asked.

'I paused. She looked ready to scram so I kept going. Didn't see the point, really.'

Adrienne's face flushed. It was never safe after dark. Never. Daniel was the one whose eyes were glued to the news when it was on. He was the one who heard about all the bloody murders and harassment of young women. Yet he saw one alone and vulnerable and drove straight past. Sometimes she looked at this man and saw a shadow of someone she once loved and other times she saw the ghost of him. It never seemed to be just Daniel.

Adrienne held her tongue and instead of blasting him for being so insensitive, grabbed her coat and slammed the front door behind her. She was never game enough to leave unannounced but she feared that if she stayed a minute longer, she'd explode all over the place.

One thing was for sure, even though it was cold and dark and the trees cast chilling shadows, Adrienne didn't for a second worry about her own safety. She thought about the young girl in the park providing a piece of meat for any roaming psychotic parasites. It was so bitterly cold and Adrienne dug her hands as deep as possible into her coat pockets but the icy wind seemed to break through the barrier anyway.

Her heart was throbbing and adrenaline whizzed around her body, preparing her to dash at any sign of impending danger. There was nothing though; it was all in her head. She thought a lot of things were just in her head so she didn't question the rustle of the bush beside her, the footsteps in the distance, the scuttle of stones. It was all probably just in her head. Just like Daniel's immature behaviour; that was probably all just in her head too. He told her enough so why shouldn't she believe it?

Creeping further through the park, a small slouching figure came into Adrienne's view and she stopped where she was so as to not startle the girl.

'Hello?'

The figure thrust upright and was getting ready to sprint when Adrienne assured her she was not a danger to her.

The girl was wary but she let Adrienne come a bit closer. Close enough for Adrienne to make out her youthful features. She was so young, probably only sixteen. Her silky yet plain hair splayed over her shoulders and her face was angelic. She looked so frightened though. And not just of the proximity of this stranger but of something far deeper than could be perceived on the surface. Her eyes were sad; there was a light behind them, but they were sad. She reminded Adrienne so much of herself at sixteen. This girl was the picture of disturbed youth; extremely clever but disturbed and disrupted.

'What are you doing out at this hour?' Adrienne soon found her voice.

'I was just going...' The girl moved away slowly.

'It's not safe out.'

'I know.' The reply was bitter.

'Hey...' Adrienne encouraged the girl to stop and she followed through politely. Her miserable face tilted out of the shadows. 'Are you okay?'

The girl didn't respond straight away. Her gaze dropped to the ground and she scuffed her shoes. She was clearly not okay, Adrienne thought, that was pretty easy to establish.

'Can you go home?' Adrienne tried moving closer to the girl. She wanted her to let go of the fear.

'I can but I don't want to.'

That was funny; Adrienne felt exactly the same way. Before she could say another word, the girl ran and she was quick, much too quick for Adrienne to shout after her. She just hoped with all her might that the girl would return home. A home may not be ideal sometimes but it was still a home; it was still okay. It would've been better than here.

Before Adrienne returned home herself, she noticed a book sitting on the bench where the girl had been. Anna Karenina. What sort of young girl would bother to read Tolstoy? He always used far too many Russian names for the average person to bother with the rest of the story. Adrienne flipped through the pages and certain sentences, words and passages had been highlighted and underlined. No school taught Tolstoy anymore; kids these days didn't have the patience. This girl was highlighting for fun.

Adrienne held the book close to her chest and stared off in the direction the girl had run. She felt connected somehow. She felt a strong connection with this girl that she couldn't explain if she tried. It was deep but undecipherable. She felt a bitter pain for her when thinking about those sad eyes and longed to fix it. A young girl should not have those feelings. Adrienne knew they'd meet again.