dear old comedian

Dear old comedian

They sit with the pulsing anticipation

Every time the dilapidated

Comedian takes the stage wearing a wry smile.

Rustles of the mice beneath the stage,

An electric fan fumbling in its orbit,

They are waiting to laugh at gestures,

Thinking every little utterance is joke,

Your sentence will end with a tagline,

Something to play and roll in happy humor.

 

So when you say: “I no longer can chuckle

Even at the cracked mirror!”

They claps and whispers about otherdays of laugh.

You say that you have buried

Your remains long ago, under a mild stone.

Then, all they think while grinning 

 Is that you have spent your jokes.

 

Reviews

[R J Askew]

Ach, the idea of a comedian losing it, of reaching that point where life gets the better of his humour, is very sad. Yet there is also something sad about a comedian who does not reach that point, but carries on laughing at life and postponing his wise period indefinitely. Life is funny, but we can't laugh at it forever. It must be horrible to realise that half way through one's act though! But it would be a rare moment for the audience to witness, if they could work out what they were witnessing. It sounds like the joke is on the audience in this case though. Enjoyed this...and I watched a mouse leaping around on a London railway line tonight.

[lori c]

well done my friend. such a sadness at the end. no one seeing the not so funny anymore heart inside, not understanding that the end of the laughs have come. it was like i was sitting stage front and watching the performer for myself. i liked this.

[Amor-de-angel]

I liked the way your descriptions made this piece come alive for me. The imagery is excellent. Well done on a great piece.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

A graphical piece in the world of comedy, nicely done. you pulled it off quite nicely.


Great Write.

[Kasey Klein]

What I said.

[George Love]

Nicely placed work in the midst of the toil to entertain. I was going in many directions with this one. It seemed to be a bit haunting at the end, as his ghost still entertains on the same stage out of habit and love for the art of comedy.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is really a nice piece and It's quite graphical . I liked the first part of the piece a lot.
Great read overall :)

[T. R. Writer]

Interesting. This poem takes me in a variety of directions. For one, I think of someone who has spend their life either being really nice or making other people happy and/or smile and when they are finally in need of someone elses attention they just get overlooked because people are always used to them being the ones who hgive attention. As a therapist I go through this. If I call a friend and say I am feeling sad she will say, "Oh really? Well let me tell you about my day." Because she is so used to me being happy and being the one who is doing the counseling. Anyway, this is not about me, but about your fantastic poem, but as you can see, it really does have an impact on me.

[Kasey Klein]

Hello my friend.

Given the corrections I've already suggested on the other site, this is a great piece.

I like the message, people too often see history and not what the years have done.

[CarrieLynn {Chameleon A..]

great write! :)