a moment of truth

A moment of truth

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Disappointment flies amid the eternal sky

Great as it might be it can’t surpass one dusk.

She climbs up a steeple, chases a gust of wind

That has many more profound sorrows to convey.

An open sunset on the cornice of a roof,

A kite’s broadminded flight to be seen from terrace

Pieces of broken peace rest pulsing on the floor.

Threads of thoughts’ ethers uneasy with violence

Whining in some corner. Before you jump to a

Conclusion, his hands stopped at your shoulders. Water

Flows down a body you have discarded simply.

 

Of course, a thing that is burnt does not become untrue.

    

 

Reviews

[alternative_be]

This really is food for thought. Slowly but surely we get the picture of what happened. This really is a pundit poem! I like the use of comparisons (abstract terms which refer to the utter realism of the situation).
Very well done, I love it ...
You don't choose the easy way out and ... succeed!

And I agree with the previous reviews stating: "Pieces of broken peace rest pulsing on the floor"
Very powerful indeed, for it says it all in a nutshell!

[JC Fox]

Another good poem

[R J Askew]

I like the way you mess reality up. Great stuff. (Dare I confess, i saw the kite spiral down and steal a peace of piece)

[Alexzan Marie]

Wow this is beautiful. I especially love the very last line kind of...thrown at the end of the piece like it justifies everything else that is said...It pulls the whole thing together.

Also the line everyone else is fawning over 'Pieces of broken peace rest pulsing on the floor' beautiful imagery, beautiful pain.

Very nice=)

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Such powerful words packed into a very succinct write. There are so many profound and beautiful lines in this work I dare not quote them all but say this is extremely moving and well crafted. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[Sparrow]

The personification in this was magnificent. I love your take on the end of the day. You can see how the narrator's day was just from his feeling at the end of it. Beautiful and telling. Thanks and keep up the great work!

[lori c]

the moment of truth, when we watch our disappointments fly all around us, taunting, beckoning us to make choices that are borderline. and somewhere in the universe there is the one who stops us and makes us think before we act . ,,,pieces of broken peace... somethings can't be fixed, merely refashioned. there is alot here to ponder. good write.

[Cece]

disappointment is always eternal
disappointment climbs, chases
Threads of thought of the kite's flight

Truly deep for to jump to conclusion
I am looking the solitude
needing it right now no stress

[Alice Bliss]

This poem is superb! I like the idea of the wind conveying profound sorrows, and the images of the sky and rooftops are strong. The violence in the second half is made more provocative by the beautiful way in which you describe it.

[None]

Your poem is packed with pensive words and verses to think about. Very nicely written!