inanimately together

Inanimately together

It has an inanimate friendship

with the old walking stick.

The friend, the dark brown stick

is always there. After a death

in the family there is nobody

to pick it up and with its thin support

to take a walk. The stick did have

memorized the moment of the departure,

in a casket full of silence.

The withered hands it knew were no more.

It has listened to the mute ramblings

of that stick. Stories and tall tells.

Truths and half-truths. It hardly matters.

 

The young one, an umbrella

has long months to spend with the friend

together boxed in that stand.

 

Reviews

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

loved the imagery./ fantastic write.

[George Love]

Bittersweet, love the imagery you used.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

"The young one, an umbrella
has long months to spend with the friend
together boxed in that stand."

I agree with alternative_be that this a kind of both sweet as well as sad piece of writing..but the imagery in just brilliant! and the subject indeed is so amazing..Overall, A great write!

[Constance]

I like the idea and the sentiment very much. Very creative and touching. There are a few errors though.
This sentence is awkward, and doesn't flow in English:
"the stick did have
memorized the moment of the departure,"
did have is what needs fixed, with something like sure has or maybe change the structure of the sentence.
Also, what you wanted to say was tall tales (tale the other word for story, though it may sound a little like tells when the right speaker says it, it is spelled tales).
If you fix those couple of errors, this is a perfect piece. I love it.

[alternative_be]

This is sad and sweet at the same time: I can imagine an old man who has only his stick and his umbrella left as his friends. A very touching description of how 'tools' can be personified and turned into friends with both young or old souls...
I imagine an old man in a market stand, trying to survive at subsistance level, and only able to do so with the help of his true friends that will never betray him!
Thanks for sending this to me!