Long long

" Actually about a headstone I was visiting after a long gap. I tried to see through the eyes of a woman visiting it."

 

Long

A touch sometimes crosses a long distance.

Touching the marble, she feels it again.

It is like a field of enormity

rests in between. A cold paddy field that rests

after its prime season. Barren. Desolate.

Her fingers brush off the brown signs of fall

on the stone. Are the scripts eroding too soon?

She tries to recall the outline of a face. 

A noise of white mist blasts into her ear dome.

Past calls are blending into each other,

pressing together, blurring them all. All.

Like a long long distance call… © 2008 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar

Reviews

[Touché Armada]

I must be totally demented because I see something really beautiful in the distant reminiscence after loss, after the initial debilitating pain. So when I read this and reach Barren Desolate, it doesn't fit to me, not like the still fertile and forever green and alive memories and the love that will most likely always be there.. The fact is there are something's you never forget, but that's just my take. This write is simply another take, and although the focus is on the receding images and recollections its still very beautiful in the way it strains to make live the only things that are left to live after death.. Great write.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Beautifully written! This was perfection. Great write!

[Anata]

Interresting poem!

I like it alot, but i think that if you make your stanza's a bit different is would have twice the effect it has now!

Like:

A cold paddy field
that rests after its prime season.
Barren.
Desolate.

But this is something that has a lot of truth, and makes the reader think...
Kudo's!

[Ani Ashford]

Wow.... you could take this and expand it into a longer story. The images that come into my mine perhaps are very particular to me, but I think there is a resonance there that could be explored. Again, I love the way your words flow together in a word-painting.

[alternative_be]

What a wonderful recollection of memories!
Very female indeed!
You are truely empathic!

[Emily B]

Perfection. Every word is divine perfection. Beautifully written.