Street Beat

written in 2010, this one rhymes for you

He was a street kid
Lived in the city
Looked sorta pretty
Twelve years old and on the skid

Had an obsession
Liked to dance
Got cash by chance
But never a possession

How he made a dime
Was dance to the beat
Hat off for a treat
He needed to dine.
          ----
She was a street kid
Lived in the city
Looked sorta pretty
Ten years old and on the skid

Had no obsession
Got cash by chance
Never did dance
Never had a possession

How she made a dime
Was smiling so coy
Got treated like a toy
She needed to dine.
          ----
One gray day these two met,
They caught each other's eye
Stopped to breathe, heaved a sigh
Wouldn't leave, saw no threat

They found and shared lunch
The day Larry met Folly
Whose real name was Polly,
Larry's name was just a hunch

They stayed together then,
Two little kids living in the city
Both lookin' real pretty
Her the chick, him the mother hen.
          ----
Together they made cash to a beat
Together they got more than a dime
Together gathered trash and got on fine
Together grinned over good food to eat

Both grew a lot in a year that way
Larry danced and Folly held the hat
They held each other and all of that,
Two little street kids together all day
Who together soon left and traveled far away.

Author's Note

Did I keep the rhythm here, besides the rhyme?
Is the story told well?
Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

I think its' a great story. it's better to survive together then alone on the streets. It's also a love story...not the usual ("swept off my feet")kind but still the found each other's chemistry and love of dance, music; the two could make more money to satisfy their needs, be it trash or better ....and then when satiated, took off for journey to....and then use your imagination! Nicely done!

[LJ]

Thanks! Your observations are much appreciated.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you; be safe, Betty

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this reminded me a bit of Flashdance, and that scene i loved when those street dancers were doing the break dancing...

[LJ]

I'm not familiar with Flashdance, but I think I should be.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, you kept a really good rhythm.
I was moving to it as i read...and i really liked the story and the positive ending.

I was expecting to be saddened but I had a nice surprise.
I wonder what they are doing now.
j.

[LJ]

Aw, thanks! I'm glad you kept a beat and very glad you were surprised and pleased by the ending. What do you think they're doing now? lol