They Call her Lady Emergency.

Barharhar. This is my little intro description thing of Lady Emergency. Lady E is a character in The Gory Games, a collaborative story that I help write.

 

A raindrop falls on your nose as you frantically attempt to find shelter. Without notice, the little drips become pouring rain, threatening hail. Lightning dances across the sky in an array of illumination and color as the rain pounds on the concrete you walk on. Gravel crunches under your feet and flies up behind you as you dodge the drops. After running in the rain with a newspaper as an umbrella for several minutes, you take shelter in a rotting gazebo overrun with English Ivy. Thunder booms and rumbles over you, playing an inhuman symphony.

“The angels are rocking out!” A voice says from behind you. It’s mechanical and high-pitched; it didn’t sound human. You turn to see something that isn’t human, as you suspected. It’s a…thing. The creature sits on the railing of the wooden gazebo, staring at you with big, red eyes. It looks like a tiny, pink owl, but it isn’t. Pink feathers cover its torso and head, and purple fur fades out of its chest. The wings look to be that of a penguin, topped off with black tips. Tufts of feathery fur come from its head, looking like little ears while two brown horns curve up from its head into a small curl. Long, leaf-green legs stick out of the plump creature as well as a yellow, scaled tail twice as along elegantly wags about. The tail has a fin at the end of it, making the bird look crazier. Three sets of wings sprout from its back, all three too small to lift the plump pink thing. One set of wings is that of a dove, one a bat, and the last of a dragonfly.

“Why’s all the rum gone?!” random words come from it’s blue beak. You watch with wide eyes as it paces on the railing. It brings one green foot up to scratch its head. It asks once again, looking at you intently, “Why’s all the rum gone?!”

You back away from the creature, it looks angry. It is only then when you realize that there is no way to go without getting soaked in the rain. You turn, trying to ignore the creature, to forget it’s behind you. Off in the distance, a voice calls out. It sounds feminine, and very far away. Looking around, you spot a silhouette that appears to be under an umbrella. It gets closer, and so does the voice.

“Hans!” it calls. The contoured figure keeps getting closer, and you can soon hear the sound of feet sloshing in the flooded lawn. You suddenly feel weight on your head. From above you, you hear its voice again.

“Lady!” it says joyfully. You scream at the fact that the thing is atop of your head. You flail wildly, trying to make it leave. It squawks and flies about the gazebo, and you keep yelling and running out into the rain. You trip over a rock and land violently in the mud. Urgently, you try to get up, but only manage to slip on the grass and fall back again. The sloshing of feet gets closer to you. You look around, still on the ground, trying to find the source.

Dark purple rain boots with smiley faces drawn on them appear at your side. The rain stops falling around you. You look up to see a small girl in a black coat, holding a purple umbrella. The coat puffs up at her abdomen, and lacy layers of black and white peek out from the bottom of the coat. Red fishnet stockings sheath her legs and hide under her boots. Brown and purple hair cascades down as she looks at you from over her glasses. A small, gloved hand reaches down to you and she smiles like a Cheshire cat.

“Need some help?” She asks, then giggles faintly, as you get up, completely soaked, “I’m Lady Emergency, and this is Hans,” she says, pointing to the bird-thing that you had encountered earlier; it now sat on her shoulder.

“What is it?” You blurt out. Your hands fly to your mouth, embarrassed at what you just asked. Now you can’t help but feel like an idiot.

She laughs as you two begin to walk towards the massive house, “He. Not it, he. He’s a Dontseeum.”

            After walking for a while in silence, she blurts out, “Grace owes me ten bucks now!” She smiles wildly and Hans hops from one foot to the other, as if he’s got to use the bathroom.

            You can’t help but be curious, so you ask simply, “Why?”

            She replies quickly, “Because you aren’t dead yet.”