I Broke A Heart

I normally don't write love poems or break up poems.. but well its what was on my heart.

I broke a heart

Not like a oops I’m sorry can I massage that better for you type of, broken heart

Not like a oops I’m sorry was that offensive

And I would be forgiven after an apology, broken heart

I’m talking about the real deal

The kind that when the words I spoke left my lips

I could never take them back

The kind that when those words hit

They were more destructive then an Armageddon comet and I think her heart stopped beating

The kind that when those words sunk in

That tremors from her soul made their way to the surface

And the rest of her body acted involuntarily

I told someone who loved me

And I mean someone who would bend over backwards, walk 300 miles and slay 700 dragons because they loved me

Someone who was more in touch with my inner-being than me because they loved me

I told someone who loved me unconditionally, it was over

And the reality after of when those words left my lips

I was cloaked in an invisible guilt

The type of guilt that’s like cinching a belt of regret around my lungs

The type of guilt where my heart rots from its core

Decaying at a rate faster than the grim reaper can claim a life

After the reality that I spoke those words sunk in

I didn’t feel relief, joy, or any other pleasurable feeling

Not like I would have suspected

I was torn like the holy cloth at the synagogue

I was destroyed like the temple of merchants

I was faced with the doubt of my faith that I was doing the right thing

Because anyone who understands what it’s like to look into those type of crying eyes

Knows that there’s no way it could feel right

But I knew it was

After losing sleep night after night

After being unhappy because I had psychological hang-ups

After internal warfare of my desire trying to break down my own fortified walls

I couldn’t do it anymore

It wasn’t fair for her to be in a relationship with a half-hearted nitwit

Who couldn’t acknowledge the worth of her treasure

I couldn’t do it anymore

She loved me whole-heartedly and I wasn’t even close to the same page

I loved her

But I didn’t love her

So I let her go

I told her it was over

And now I mourn the loss of my best friend

I took the risk

I played the lottery, it was all or nothing

And I lost when she said,

“Jason I just can’t go back to being friends”

I broke a heart

And it broke my heart

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

My Dear Friend Lalli,

This is a touching, remarkable piece. Kudos! This write was so honest it was disarming. I just sat there reading, taking in your words. I was carried with them into your profound feelings. I felt them. I was there with you. This is excellent writing. And I'm so sorry for you and this life experience. But I can't help but believe that you did the right thing. It was painful, I know. What a loss. What a brave thing to do, to save someone from a relationship going nowhere despite how much she wanted it to move forward. Sometimes life is pain, my friend.

Deepest respect,

Rick

[Sandra K]

Oh Lalli, what a sad but honest poem. *tears* It made me cry. I have been in the situation of the girl who you broke her heart. Its a terriable, horriable feeling. For some it takes a while to get over, and thats a difficult time. But i respect the honesty and it showed how caring you are. Not all men will do something like that and tell a woman the honest truth. They will hurt them in a lot painful way. A great sad poem. Kudos.