I. Site 22

Welcome to the first chapter in my novel! We are introduced to Daniel Harper, a young man right out of his teens who's having a very stressful morning. Suspicious events arise in a very different world.

I. Site 22

 

        Daniel Harper was awake before the Morning Call echoed across the grounds. Like every morning, he sat upon the edge of his bunk, cradling a book in his hands. Dawn’s warm rays stretched through a small barred window, illuminating the yellowing pages of the novel. He flipped its fragile pages absentmindedly, the words blurring into one another. His thoughts lay elsewhere, detached from his book, the small bunk-bed, the wood-paneled floors, the suffocating concrete walls, and the heavy steel door. He winced as a high pitched ringing rattled through the intercom speakers situated in the corner of the room. The voice of a woman cut through the humid morning in cracked choppy syllables. 

        “Good morning, citizens. Today is the third day of this twenty-fourth week of the year 32 A.C.R. Breakfast will include sweet eggs, broiled ham, pancakes...”

        “Bloody liars,” a voice mumbled from within the bundle of sheets in the bunk across Daniel’s. Lanky arms and legs protruded from the blankets and pushed them to the floor in annoyance.  Daniel’s room mate, Grant, swung his legs about and stood up. He stretched, pulling the sleeves and pant legs of his unfitting pajamas even higher up long limbs. He yawned and rubbed his heavy eyelids. Like Daniel, his hair was black and short. Sleepy brown eyes set deep under thick eyebrows squinted around the small room. His gaze fell upon Daniel’s crouched figure on the bed. He threw his palms up in the air.

        “Have those b******s ever given us a decent breakfast?” Grant demanded in a heavy accent. He scratched his bristled chin and moved towards the bathroom. Flicking on the light he peered into a mirror and examined a middle-aged face, all the while nodding with approval. “I mean, they could at least change the damned announcement instead of giving us hope, y’know lad? Ham, by God. I haven’t tasted it in years.”

        Daniel smiled to himself, his friend’s usual tirade entertaining him for once. “I agree with you,” he called over his shoulder as the faucet spouted water. Daniel could hear Grant rummaging for a razor blade and heard him swear when he found it. Daniel allowed himself a soft chuckle, glad to have any form of reprieve from the worries plaguing his mind. But it was only for a moment. Questions once more flew through his mind at a dizzying speed and uneasiness churned in his stomach. He attempted to return to the novel, wishing that the words could pull him into a more pleasant and soothing world. The woman continued the Morning Call, listing events for the day and reminding citizens of the law and the penalties for disobedience.  

        “Speaking of the law, I think it’d be best to put that away soon.” Daniel looked up. Grant, clean shaven and changed into a navy blue jumpsuit uniform, was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He raised his eyebrows at the book. “Them Suits won’t think twice ‘bout shootin’ you on the spot if they catch ya. And you’re not going to drag me under, y’hear?”                

        Uncomplaining, Daniel closed his book and kneeled on the floor beside his bed. He crawled into the cramped space between the mattress and the wooden floor with an easiness only gained through experience. With a few expert knocks, one of the floor panels popped up slightly. He wrenched it open, the smell of dust floating up to greet his nostrils. Underneath the panels rested a pile of aged books and scraps Daniel had scavenged and saved from abandoned buildings throughout the city. He carefully lowered his book in the hole with the others and replaced the wood panel. He shuffled out from under his bed and shook the flakes of dust from his hair and uniform. Grant eyed his room mate warily.

        “It ain’t normal, hidin’ all that scrap,” he grumbled under his breath. “What’s it mean to you anyhow, lad?”

        Daniel straightened himself. “I like to read,” he said off-handedly.

        Grant rolled his eyes. “Riskin’ your life fer paper...yer a mad man.”

        Daniel shot Grant a withering look. “If I’ve gone mad, I pray for those who are sane.”

        The older man shrugged his shoulders. “Well, you aren’t going to start a revolution with your underground books, Danny,” he scoffed, “You can’t stop the Syndicate of States.”

        Daniel withdrew his prepared retort as the woman blared through the intercom for one final announcement. “Everyone in Neighborhoods A through D please report to the Food Hall for breakfast. As a reminder, please ensure that uniforms are clean and that all grooming has been completed. Thank you.”

        With a sarcastic whoop Grant pulled open the heavy steel door and stepped out into the streets. Dan followed suit and shut the door behind him with a screech. The sun was already well into the hazy sky, forcing Dan to squint. The air was stiff and hot, causing sweat to form uncomfortably beneath Dan’s collar. Tugging at his jumpsuit he blended in with the growing crowd of people flowing through the cement streets. The Neighborhoods of the West Gate were tight and organized. Narrow, forbidding alleyways snaked through cramped rows of small, identical cell-like houses. Bare concrete sidewalks and roads covered the entire city, devoid of color. A few scattered intercom towers and modern establishments offset the monotonous landscape of flat rooftops. Casting a formidable shadow was a massive, authoritative concrete wall that surrounded the collection of buildings. Its presence daunted the city's inhabitants and repressed all optimism. In the center of the small city stood its one redeeming feature; twin glass skyscrapers glinted proudly in the sunlight, prismatic light reflecting onto the streets surrounding it. Dan gazed at it with combined awe and resentment. It was cruel irony how such people as the Syndicate were to be the ones residing in those grand towers. 

        Hundreds of pairs of feet pounded upon the pavement, the thundering sound echoing through the parallel rows of houses. Men and women wore similar blue uniforms and neatly kept jet black hair. Faces forward, they tried to avoid each others’ eyes. No one spoke more than a few whispers to each other, casting furtive looks at the intercoms posted on tall spires lining the streets. Blinking red lights warned them to keep quiet. Like nervous mice the crowds of Neighborhoods A, B, C, and D skittered as quickly and quietly as they could towards the Food Hall. Shoulders roughly bumped into shoulders in the rush to enter the doors first. Dan tried his best to avoid bumping into others but failed as he became crushed in a bottleneck effect at the entrance of the Food Hall. He stumbled into the large cafeteria. Mint green paint flaked off of walls that extended eight feet towards an angled ceiling. Long windows slit the walls and cast light onto rows of steel tables and benches. The cement floors were stained with food, drink, and possibly the blood of a citizen who was most unfortunate to have picked a fight with the wrong man.

        Unable to break away from the crowd, Dan was herded into a line for breakfast. Inching closer to the serving window, Dan could make out the faces of two guards and a cook. The gaunt cook nonchalantly handed out breakfast while the hefty guards patted their guns to dissuade any complaints. As people grabbed a brown sack through the slot beneath the window, they idled off into their own groups throughout the cafeteria. Grabbing a similar bag after flashing his identification tag to the guards, Dan scanned the many faces. He shuffled over to the far corner of the room and sat next to a burly man with rolled up sleeves displaying rather hairy arms. His black hair was slightly curly, and his thick eyebrows were furrowed deep in thought. Dan opened his bag and pulled out a piece of toast, an overripe banana, a small container of yogurt, and a can of water. Without looking up from munching his toast, he addressed the man beside him.

        “Martin, what the hell is going on?” Dan asked in a low voice.

        Martin wiped crumbs from his lips with the back of his hand. “I really don’t know. We were all lucky to have made it back to the abodes. I asked Nicholas to illuminate us this morning. He should be here soon.”

        As he finished speaking, they raised their eyes and watched as a lanky man strutted towards them through the rows of tables, occasionally winking at a few women who replied with rolled eyes. Rough patches of stubble remained on his pointed chin and hollow cheeks. He arrived at Dan and Martin’s table and snatched Dan’s banana. Dan blinked in astonishment. The newcomer peeled the banana and bit into it happily as the two seated men gazed at him expectantly. His sharp eyes gave their spread out breakfasts a quick scan.  

        “Are you fellas finished with that?” he asked with a full mouth.

        Annoyed, Martin gestured for the thin man to sit in front of them. He did so, continuing to chew his fruit. 

        “What happened last night, Nicholas?” Martin demanded in his deep voice, getting straight to the point.

        “It’s Nick,” he snapped, “and I don’t know what happened last night.”

        “Bullshit,” Martin snorted, rolling his eyes. “You were near the North gate when it happened. I watched you run back to your room, coward.” 

        Nick sneered. “Now calling names isn’t nice, Martin. We’re all here to be better people, right? I was merely being a good citizen and returning promptly to my room after a midnight stroll. Now if I recall, you were out and about as well, weren’t you? My information, and my silence, does have a price, you know. Otherwise, how’s a man supposed to live in this hell hole?”

        Dan felt anger rising in him. He didn’t trust Nicholas, and wondered why Martin did. Still, he let his friend handle the conversation.

        Martin rubbed his forehead, patience draining. “Listen to me carefully, Nick,” he added with contempt, “We are in a very dangerous position here, and if you don’t tell me what happened, I can’t decide what to do, and all of us involved in this thing will be dead before we can witness another dawn. I have absolutely no problem taking you down with us, seeing that you were very much involved in our operations.”

        The confident smirk faded off Nick’s face. Martin gave him a hard stare. With satisfaction he saw Nick’s eyes shift, his resolve wavering. Nick was a foolish man, but he was not one to bargain with his life.

        “Well, Nicholas?”

        “If I tell you what I know, I get off free, no attachments, and you better not mention me when you idiots get caught, got it?” Nick demanded, attempting to sound in control of the situation. Dan smirked at the pathetic man.

        “Understood. Now, please illustrate last night’s events to us.”

        “I went out to the North Gate to meet a friend of mine in Neighborhood H who had a smoke or two. Wonderful stuff. So when I arrive at my friend’s abode, we’re enjoying ourselves in the alleys. Next thing I know the alarms are going off and people are yelling. I glance outside and guards are rushing towards two men and one woman who are running towards the West Neighborhoods. Poor chaps didn’t get very far. The Suits shot them.”

        “Who were they?” Dan interjected.

        “Don’t interrupt boy,” Nick said curtly. “A few Suits were discussing the whole thing, and I happened to overhear it. Those three were delegates for another faction of some sort.” He paused for a dramatic effect, then continued. “I don’t know for sure who they’re with, but I do know they were against the Syndicate. I guess negotiations went sour and they tried to make a run for it. Unfortunately for them, they were caught trying to make their escape at the North Gate and were chased down through the neighborhoods. They were shot like dogs and dragged off with the Suits. It caused quite a commotion, and I left before the Suits could go around shooting others.”

        “Thank you, Nicholas. You have my word that I will not bring you any more trouble,” Martin said, resting his chin upon folded hands thoughtfully.

        Nick huffed and raised himself from the bench. He spun on his heel and marched out of the cafeteria. Dan whirled upon his older friend as soon as the distasteful man left.

        "Delegates? Where could they have come from?"

        Martin shrugged. Dan dropped his head into his hands. “We can’t do this, Martin. Security will be tightened more than ever with this threat. There’s no way all of us can escape unnoticed.”

         Martin stared into space, deep in thought. His dark brown eyes roamed the full cafeteria. “This could be a good thing for us.”

        “How?” Dan said exasperatedly. “Our plan has failed even before we could complete it! I thought one of the others had been killed or captured! You do realize this changes everything? We have a week to come up with a new plan and get the hell out of here before they find out about us and the key is demolished with the infirmary.”

        “I know, Daniel. Just calm down -”

        “The others are going to die for this,” Dan said interrupted angrily. “They have weapons. They’ll be found out by the Suits, and shot. You can’t tell me to calm down.”

        Martin sighed. “I known the gravity of the situation, but please listen to me. Those delegates were a part of another faction. Eventually, that group will know the Suits have killed their precious comrades. If we are lucky, maybe they will return in vengeance and create a diversion for us so that we can retrieve the key and escape into the surrounding forest. We can join up with them if we find them, they can’t be too far. Maybe they’ll be hospitable enough to take us in.”

        “It could take weeks until they realize that their friends were killed, and we don’t even know if they'll welcome us with open arms. We can’t rely on just chance, Martin. Our lives are at stake,” Dan said gravely.

        “The tensions will be thick after last night’s events, and the Suits will be everywhere. There’s no safe way to try and set another plan in motion. In any case, whether we try to escape again or wait in hope for that diversion, we have to wait. Tell Alfred, Carmen, and Joshua to conceal their weapons and lie low. I’ll try and find a new place and set up a meeting as soon as possible. Until this dies down, we should all just be patient and careful.”

        “What about the key and Tom?”

        “I’ll tell Tom that things were messed up. He should be fine. We can’t do anything about the key right now. Just stay close to home.”

        “Alright,” Dan said finishing up his breakfast. He and Martin scooped up their trash and disposed of it. Martin took long strides out of the cafeteria, throwing a small smile of reassurance over his shoulder to the young man on his way out. Dan did not feel reassured at all as his mind was overwhelmed with worry. 

        “Daniel!” called out a voice.

        Daniel whirled around to find the source of the voice. A young woman beamed at him and waved him over to sit beside her. He walked to the bench and sat across from her. 

        The woman, Carmen, clicked her tongue at him. “Now what’s with that long face? It doesn’t suit my Danny boy,” she said teasingly.

        Her smile illuminated her pretty features. She looked a bit older than Daniel, possibly in her mid-twenties. The rather baggy uniform hung loosely over her petite shoulders. Daniel gazed at his friend’s joking light brown eyes and smiled.

        “Don’t call me Danny, you know I don’t like pet names.”

        “But aren’t we close like that, Danny?” she smiled playfully. “Anyway, what did the old geezer say?”

        “Hide everything, lie low, and await news from us about another meeting. We'll explain everything then. Things will be a bit difficult after last night.”

        “Where’s the key?”

        “At the old infirmary still. I didn’t want to risk me being found with it and the whole thing being compromised.”

         Carmen nodded. "So I'm guessing we'll need a new plan, then?" she stated more than inquired.

          "Martin and I will think of something," Dan tried to reassure her. 

 

         Carmen nodded again, more slowly. Her cheery attitude had all but dissolved as she cast her eyes downward. Daniel almost regretted telling her. 

 

         “I just want to get out of here so bad,” she whispered so quietly Dan could barely hear her. He completely understood.

        They jumped as the intercom static spiked and reverberated throughout the cafeteria. Everyone fell silent and stared at the speakers situated in the corner. 

        “Attention all citizens of Site 22,” spoke a rather commanding male voice. “This is General Reeves of the Syndicate Army speaking. I am sure last night’s events have reached a few ears by now. Let me apologize for the commotion, I hope you all slept well last night.”

        Carmen scoffed at the speakers. “I didn’t sleep a wink last night,” she whispered bitterly to Daniel.

        “I would like to reassure everyone that the situation last night was well under control, and you have nothing to fear. If there are any rumors circling about, I personally advise you to refrain from making convictions before you hear the truth.” The whole cafeteria sat on the edge of their seat.

        “Last night, a few unruly citizens were caught outside of their areas. As you know, lawbreaking is a serious offense. We apprehended the offenders and have detained them in the prison. Over the course of the next couple of weeks, we will be conducting a few random inspections throughout the abodes. Suits will be posted at every entrance, exit, and event to ensure your safety. If you have information about any suspicious activity, please report them to the Iron Hall. Depending on the content of your information, you may just receive a reward. An obedient citizen is a happy one. Good day."

        With one last screech the speakers fell silent. A foreboding feeling snuck into Daniel’s stomach. He and Carmen exchanged the same troubled expression.

Author's Note

I know it's long. If you've read it all I appreciate it!

Reviews

[Gravedigger]

Length is only an issue to the bean counting publishers who think there should be some "standard" word & page counts for contemporary pieces. My first suggestion for anyone is to not even consider such a concern, at least not until one has the base manuscript complete (or nearly so), then maybe fuss over length.
Seek out repeating, reused words, and wrestle out alternatives; "his/hers", etc. are the kinds of words that get extremely over used. Pick a section, count the reoccurring words, one will be surprised - then it gets real fun trying to replace them, or reword a phrase altogether, without a repeat. Hugely challenging, but can also be hyper-rewarding.