JUST A DREAM

Domestic Violence is real!

It was yesterday’s dream that became today’s nightmare. 

The bruises covered by makeup and the tears masked by a stare. 

It was only the first time, 

Rewind back to 3 months before 

And I can still feel myself being thrown against the door. 

Beaten, broken, ashamed, and lost. 

But he has to be sorry because today it cost…

jewelry, an apology, and I am no longer victimized. 

But today I realized this was not supposed to be me. 

The girl with the Master’s degree, 

the one who knows what a healthy relationship is to be, 

the one who stands up in front of crowds and tells them they are free. 

This can’t be me! 

Trapped, Alone, and missing. 

Surrounded by cops and judges with no help, 

just false kisses and pretended smiles of what could be, should be, would be if only it wasn’t a dream. 

The abuse seemed to take its many forms 

And only in the brief moments of coping there was the thought of hoping this would end. 

But that was only yesterday and today the cycle begins. 

Control, power, suicidal ideation, drugs, cowardice, and a variation of emotions. 

Run, hide, stay, leave. 

Fun, ride, lay, 

BREATHE! 

Exhale and escape 

The rape is only temporary, the pain will fade, the scars will heal, the tears will dry, but the memory is sealed. 

It was all a dream that simply became a nightmare and today I wake to an unfamiliar state of care. Today I'm alone, safe and me. 

Today I’m finding out who I am and not who I was to be. 

Today I’m free.