When Someone You Love Is Suicidal

My boyfriend is suicidal.

When chopping vegetables for dinner, he always holds the knife a little too close to his wrist

And he keeps a gun underneath his bed, not to use against house intruders, but for when he finally decides to silence the demons inside his head

When I asked him why, he told me that suicide is the only thing you can control in life and that he wanted to beat God at his own game.

So he always puts his seat belt on when he’s in the car

And he looks both ways when crossing the road.

Because he does want to die, but only on his own terms

When he cut himself last night on a broken piece of glass, I believed him when he told me that it was an accident

Because, honestly, I don’t think that he really wants to kill himself.

He just wants to believe that there is another way out of the hell that he is living in.

So I will hold him and tell him how much he means to me

And I will plant kisses on every inch of his body and hope that my love is enough to drive the demons away

Because I read once that "you can't save people, you can only love them."

Author's Note

This isn't actually about my boyfriend, just a poem that I came up with.

Reviews

[❤ Maggie ❤..]

I am glad you haven't had to go through this personally. It is not a pleasant thing to deal with, whether you're feeling that way personally, or know people who are. All in all, I think this was a very good write

[Jack...]

I love this poem and especially the last line. These words I will keep with me always. Thank you for sharing.

[Laura Harrison]

You're welcome, thank you for reading :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Having personally experienced the suicides of several people close to me, and knowing a woman whose entire family save 1 has chosen this very route - I will leave you with something she said to me: "People think it is the selfish way out, but I can't think of it that way or I would go crazy. They think they are saving you the pain of living with their misery". This is a powerful write, perceptive, and telling. All you can do is hold them close and pray they won't do it. In the end, it isn't your decision to make.

[Laura Harrison]

Thank you for your kind review. And as for what your friend said, I agree with her.

[Ruth]

Yes...that is the truth...it is not our choice and however painful it is, we can only try our best to safeguard those who are this way...a brave poem...

[Laura Harrison]

Exactly :) thank you for reviewing this

[Ruth]

Most welcome!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Very interesting the idea of beating god at his own game?Can it be done?Or will the way you die eventually even by your own hands be exactly as he planned?Something to think about.Nicely written:)

[Laura Harrison]

I have no idea, but mind you, I don't think any of us even know what God's game really is :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

Exactly I think so too:)

[Dreamer]

damn, suicide is a massive problem. I myself also am suicidal so this poem spoke to me.
I hope your boyfriend never goes through with it. I hope he doesn't give up because he has someone who loves him---- you.

[Laura Harrison]

Thank you. I really hope that you can through it too, and just remember, every day that you stay on earth is another day closer to recovery and I'm always here if you need someone to talk to :)

[Dreamer]

I'm not so sure I can hold on, see unlike your boyfriend..i don't have anyone who loves me.
thanks I appreciate it

[Laura Harrison]

I used to be like you, I wasn't suicidal but I was alone for a very long time and I believed that nobody would ever love me, but then I met my fiance a year and a half ago, at my sisters house of all places lol :) so things can always get better if you're patient, I wish you all the best.

[Dreamer]

thanks I hope your right... unfortunately im not a patient person