It Would be Easier if You Were Dead

I can’t stop myself from thinking

that it would be easier if you had died

because at least then

you wouldn’t have left me by choice

and it pains me knowing

that I could just dial your number

or knock on your door

but I wouldn’t even know

how to talk to you anymore

we can never be the same

as we were when we were kids

discussing bands

and the most recent boy you had kissed

I could ask you why

you suddenly decided

that you don’t want to know me anymore

but my breath has already been wasted

on questions like that before

and I’m done with sitting around

and waiting for you to come back

like a lost puppy

that’s been left in the park

I have a life to live

and I’m not going to waste it because of this

all that I can do

is pretend that you don’t exist.

Reviews

[Green]

I always find it hard to comment on things like this because they always seem so personal to me, but since I appreciate it as both a work of poetry and a mode of expression I did want to say something.
I liked how you used shorter sentences on this, it made it seem more like you were actually thinking it as you read it. Also, I liked the slightly more hopeful note at the end about moving on since that's the only real way to deal with things like this. Hope everything works or has worked out for you :)

[Laura Harrison]

Thank you for your review :) things are getting better, I don't think they ever will be 1005 perfect because I was so close to my sister, but it's close.