Ascending Titan

Sometimes I wonder if i've been lucky to have seen the galaxy. I've done it all many many years ago. I've seen so many differen't eliptical wonders of deep space i sometimes fear there is nothing left for me. The crazy days are behind me and not even the vastness of the universe has anything left in store for me. These are the days I owe myself to find peace in a never ending life where even the touch of a womens body against me gives me pleasure yet overwhelming dread at the same time. Just think about it. I'll be here while the dust that was once her is swept away into nothing. Suicide, it was one of the few phases Ive had. When you are an immortal its usually something that comes around after the twohundred year marker when you've been ready to die for more then fifty years. Nearly sixty years later I've come to accept that I'll never stay dead, sometimes i wonder If I am invincible and not even the surface of the sun can scorch my essence away. 

He was there glancing at me from across the counter with a bottle of rum and a glass of ice in his hands. I would eventually drink it but right now I was to busy watching my date lock lips with one of the few bachellors just across the ball room. Son, that's Emanuel Solace. She's as good as gone but don't feel to bad, that's the eigth gal I've seen him with since departure.

 I looked at the bartender. Ironically enough, I was just interested in having sex with her. She was just human with a high hormone level and I, just trying to pretend I haven't grown out of humanity and into something much more. I've been with so many women I couldn't care less, she was just something to pass time, an activity.  

I laughed when he did. Everything I did these days seemed like mere activities. I had become interested in killing lately, it was back on Zulu when I shot down two guys after their attempt to gut me and I've been gutted before with a blunt dagger, it's not fun. Maybe it's a reflection of myself, I seek death where I will never find it. The death of others will forever interest me, it's something about the eyes after a human passes away. They aren't quite there anymore and I mean the person, not the eyes. Well I am glad you've already come to accept it...because if you haven't you would of ended up like that poor b*****d. 

The bartender said referring to fight I took no interest in at the moment. I hadn't been looking at my date when he was talking, just finishing my drink. I looked when i heard all of the commotion and the sounds of a fight so i turned around and took a few steps away, towards the two guys fighting over the girl. Emanuel was much more stronger then his apponent and everyone here could already see proof of this, I could take him but I had no interest in showing off. I took another step, when no one would. The man was down, bracing himself against the constant kicks. This Emanuel jackass was a coward, I could see it. I can see threw people like him. He bent down to grab the man but he could reach no further because of my grip, that's when he yanked his arm away and turned towards myself. This is going to be fun, another loser to put in his place. 

He said to me following his fist being thrown my way. His continuous attacks could not touch me, where he had strength I had my speed. Emanuel could hit hard and fast but I was better in every way, the last swing was slow and wreckless, I used this advantage to end his embarisment with one swift kick that brought his legs out from under him as he fell on his face with a hard smack that knocked him out. The exsessive breathing gave them away and before the approaching men knew it I was on the attack. With a quick step back towards one of the two, I swung the might of many by taking my elbow into the mans face after shifting my arm into an uncomfortable position.  Not many has seen someone get  close-lined in the face by an elbow before. Moving from one position to another it almost seemed like time slowed everyone down except me, perhaps I was on some sort of adrenalin overdive. Avoiding the gentlemans swing I continued towards him with my arm, grabbing his neck firmly then sweep kicked his leg. I could already see the women in the crowd eyeing me and at that moment i realized something of myself, I loved fighting and getting the attention. Though most love it for the fame, but I, drawn towards a slice of humanity. 

A real look of satisfaction crossed my mouth when the end of my lips curled up into a grin. I grabbed Emanuel, the one who started this. Taking him by the collar of his tux I started to punch him over and over again. A chuckle escaped me, and for a split second I could hear the wise old man of me speak up as I had a moment and took a good look at this young mans face, the blood rolling down his cheeks, the swollen eyes and broken jaw. Though greed for humanity, passion for the fight had won and I clenched my bloody knuckles when all of the sudden one of the female servants dropped her gold coated serving tray and covered her mouth. He's had enough! 

She spoke up against me where no one would. I realize i had become no better then the man I just messed up, I should still be where she is standing. The passing moment I had lost myself, looking at her with my clenched teeth, one hand on the mans neck, the other fastened into a fist. 

Finally I made a decision, intervening was not a good idea. I remained in the crowd having thought up what would of happened if I had stepped into the fight. The decision to not step in saved myself from turning into a monster, if i had, i would of only stopped one more kick of Emanuels boot. Seems as if the inhuman wise man inside of me had gotten the best of the demon wanting to break out. I found myself holding out my hand to the wounded on the floor, this wasn't me being kind. I was just trying to ignore my itch to kill that b*****d who did this, oh would I love to. Come on...I'll buy you a drink. You need it. 

He did not speak to me, embarrisment had taken him over. I took him across the room where the bartender gave him my drink without question, he needed it. I took another look at him thinking I should give him some words of wisdom, instead I threw a hefty amount of credits on the counter top then walked away. 

January 13th, 2326. Nearly two days after I boarded this civillian transport onroute to planet Earth, two days after my birthday. We're all are passing threw one of the celestial arms of the Milky way experiencing heavy turbulance and sooner then we thought, just days later we had arrive in the Red Giant sector.

The star was like none other, the emitting look of warmth is welcoming and at that moment I longed for Earth, my home. For me it almost seems as if while time passes there will never be a moment I can just grasp onto and stay in that moment in time forever. Everyone gets those moments but I've yet to experience that piece of harmony that so many others have experienced, until now.