Memories

This is a song of words I wrote some years ago. Hope you like it?

Memories

Memories,
read between the pages.
Memories,
I’ve loved you through the ages.
Close yon windows,
and close the doors.
I need your loving;
I need you more and more.

Starlight,
burns brighter than the candlelight.
Every night,
I think of how I held you tight.
Where is the loving,
I felt once before.
Will you walk with me;
one more time, I'm yours.

Memories,
I’m yours.
Memories,
please call.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i also think you might rework some of this...make it more metaphorical perhaps...but the sentiment is wonderful in it...

and i like the "Memories, please call" part --personifying the memories is so good....maybe elaborate on that personification in the piece.

jacob

[Leonard Birch]

Thanking you Jacob. Will have another look at my work.
Cheers!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

This has some highlights... I believe you could rework this and give more life to the verse... Seems your last stanza is the chorus... Your rhyme scheme is there... Something is missing within... Just the way I read it...

[Leonard Birch]

Thanks Glen. I do appreciate your feedback and will look at it again.
I actually sung this piece at a Folk Club back in the 90's and then recorded it. However, I never did anything with it after that time ... untilll now.
Leo

[Glen Yumang Manese]

May be if I heard this aloud I could give a different perspective... but I do feel this has more... Good day...

[Leonard Birch]

Thank you my friend. I appreciate the feedback.
Take care.

[Sharon Kim]

Very nice, Leonard! We try so hard to hold onto the memories and long to relive them.

I think the fourth line should read I've loved you through the ages, not I've love you. :)

Another great poem!
Sharon

[Leonard Birch]

Thank you Sharon. Oppppsss I forgot that line. You are right. Must get my eyes checked.
Thanks for spotting it.
Cheers!
Leonard

[jvava]

Like Broken Wings' comment below, I felt something with this poem.
I like your take on memory - a usually cliché topic that you turned into something beautiful, and unique. Your poetry speaks volumes; perhaps that because it's so true, but we never think of things in this way.
I love your work! Keep up the great work!

[Broken Wings]

Nice writing, I felt it. I like your choice in words, nice flow.

[Leonard Birch]

thanking you for your wonderful comment.

[Sami Khalil]

A great rhyming poem on memories. Memorable...:)

[Leonard Birch]

Thank you my friend. I wrote this piece when I was in a folk club in Perth, Western Australia. It was a wonderful time to play with words and write new Music.
Thank you once again.
Leo

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. Good to know...You are welcome...:)