Limbo

as it is..

we are burnt inside,

       full of old straw,

       tar and wet ash;

passing trucks lift my hair,

       wash my eyes with diesel,

trees and fields behind the stop

       are fenced and grubby,

       they darken,

we are lost in direction

       between two nothings,

       untied to our kin,

seekers of line and light

       down the way of a savage god,

       the cruel autobahn.    

Reviews

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

it's a nice change to see sadness, instead of the usual passivity, attached to the concept of limbo

[KTizzle]

I am afraid I may not understand all the deep symbolism you meant to portray in your imagery, but I really love this. I felt a sense of human connection with the diesel splashing on the narrator's eyes and the darkening scene definitely fits into that theme as well.

My favorite line would have to be, "seekers of line and light" which was also my favorite stanza. You have one person seeking destination on a high way and the other on a pathway, but both connected by the seeking and being on their way to find what they're looking for.

Lovely, thought provoking write.

Thanks for posting! Have a great day!

P.S. What jazz artists do you enjoy listening to?

[Einstein Noodle]

well done ..shakes me boots to think of it ..and perhaps it will be my own lot from Heaven :{{{
graphic, tight poetry says i! your second verse just makes me scream ...just barely buried under the gravel ..lifts my hair ..diesel in the eyes ..man oh man ..
E.

[Valentine]

The autobahn being a highway where pollution from the trucks and cars fall on all along side of it. True of all major roadways. Nice write. Valentine

[Coyote Song]

Very effective poem with very effective imagery i n this. Very well done.

[Tina Kline]

A very strong and emotional poem. Outstanding imagery in this. It gives the feeling of people lost from their own place and wandering, ar uncertain of just about everything. I really like this one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this may be my favorite of yours Leslie...

love the allusions to the trucks, the washing of eyes with diesel...

the grubby, darkened fields of thought...being lost in directions...the truck is stalled...not sure which way to go...

j.

[Ken Simm.]

Urban beauty. Or perhaps urban art. This could be published by painting it on a wall. However it is seen it strikes chords and makes for thoughts.