The Sparrow`s Order

A rural event

I walk between a forest and a river,

one male, one female,

they are both grey.

They are filled with relics,

skulls peek between trees,

the path is ringed with rainwater.

The wind is before time,

I am a black box in a falling plane,

unable to register panic.

Cat children whine in the undergrowth,

like lovers tumbling in fern.

A lost playing card, the nine of hearts.

A dead sparrow,

frozen in the track of a departed tractor,

seems to say :

This is not your place !

Take your sorrow and leave !

Reviews

[patricia]

..i am a black box in a falling plane....i loved that idea, especially as it is the first think they look for in the wreckage.
the forest and river being male and female...superb.
like lovers tumbling in fern...was so wispy and emotive.
i loved the last stanza the most for its ability to shock and its expression...Take your sorrow and leave! ....it feels so healthy in its assertiveness. Loved it. Thankyou.

[Allen Smuckler]

Terrific use of metaphors Leslie. I loved this though and through...beautiful images describing this "rural event". As I stroll through the forest, along the river of time, I can feel the mist of the rain, hear the "cat children" puling and smell the decaying sparrow. So well done Leslie.
allen

[...]

. a very powerful piece of writing with vivid images ... and an absolutely overwhelming last line ...

[Amila Jay]

'I am a black box in a falling plane' - wow,
Very effective lines used, a strong write. Excellent poem.

[Geraldine]

Why does the last two lines seems to play in my head over and over again? :D haha this is brilliant. ^^

[s.r.knight]

I agree with Emily Burns, I re-read the lines over and over for about ten minutes. I don't know what it is about this poem, but I absolutely adore it. The imagery of the grey bleakness is lovely. It seems like this is so care-free and empty but incredibly profound at the same time.. Good for you

[Emily B]

somehow these words are timeless, you could have written them yesterday or a hundred years ago . . . and they have so much depth

I lingered over them quite a while