Fool in the rain

Fool in the rain

A Story by Poussiere D'Ange
"

Inspired by the Led Zeppelin song.

"

I tapped my feet continuously, my new pair of converse making a harmonious beat against the muddy sidewalk. Little dirty drops of water trickled down the shed of the grocer shop under which I took shelter in the monsoon downpour. It was one of those melodious rain, where everything seemed beautiful, and there was no thunder to give you goose bumps, or lightning bolts cracking the grey sky.


‘Where was he?’ I wondered. Maybe he forgot. After all, who would be so kind as to remember my mere existence and come see me just because I asked?


He is the first boy of our school, and also captain of the football team. He probably has a very inadequate closet, for he wears the same shirt to school every day. He walks with his eyes glued to the sky, which scares me a little, with his old black deflated bag hanging loosely over his left shoulder. His family owns a BMW, but still he walks to school. He is a strange person, unlike all the other first boys and jocks, with unusually mysterious and magical eyes, eyes that speak, that say so much.


The only similarity he has with the other ‘cool’ people is his temper, his red, hot and explosive-like-a-bomb temper. So it was not out of the blue when he hissed at me when I asked him if he could meet me. But it was absolutely gob smacking when he said yes, and asked me to meet him a few blocks down the road which led to our hostel, block B was what they called it.


Me? I was just an ugly back-bencher, with dark eyes and cropped hair. I was the example of failure, even though I never got anything other than a 100 in Maths. I was invisible, still am and always will be. My face will always remain hidden by my oh so favorite hoodie, the one which I also chose for our meeting.


I was there, 5pm sharp, just like he asked me to be, even in the pouring rain. But no signs of him. Another car splashed past me, as I dashed backwards. Everything seemed gloomy now. Maybe it was the fact that I just wanted to talk to him, not be his girlfriend. No, I did not want to dash off to a gruesome, sleazy club with him on a date, nor did I want to sneak around at school. All I wanted to do was…talk.


As the clock struck 6, I pulled the hood over my head and hit the road, feeling disappointed, hollow, and defeated. Lane after lane I passed, the rain hiding my tears, till I reached Block D. And look who’s

 standing there?


He was wearing his same old faded jeans and a red striped shirt which I did not see before, and was staring at the sky with an annoyed look plastered over his face. With baby steps, I walked over to him, when ‘His Majesty’ finally looked at me.


‘Where were you? Did you lose your way?’ He yelled.


I slowly nodded with a smile, ‘Yes.’


I was confused. Was he a fool, or was I? Or was it…the both of us?

© 2013 Poussiere D'Ange


Author's Note

Poussiere D'Ange
The rain brings out the love in me:)...

My Review

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Featured Review

Imaginative. Descriptive. 'His Majesty' the football captain is the epitome of every high school jock that we all loathed at one time or another. There are few things more beautiful than the pitter-patter of rain and this story made me cherish it even more. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Poussiere D'Ange

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much. It made me glad that you enjoyed this:-):-):-D.



Reviews

A starting to a very interesting scene, this boy has everything going for him yet he leaves me curious as to what his attentions are. The main character, the girl with dark eyes is the innocence of growing up, the sweet victim of what might be regret or the victor of true love, I'm actually anxious to find out more.. I want to see where and how the path leads.. all this inspired by a zeppelin song :P bravo!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Poussiere D'Ange

6 Years Ago

Thanks so much Kee. It means a lot:-):-):-D.
Wow, this is good! :)
I like the description of this guy, he sounds interesting and ... far from reality. I bet he is a dreamer. ^^
The ending was very surprising, I thought this story would end in a very sad way but now I'm glad it ends like this :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Poussiere D'Ange

6 Years Ago

When i imagined him, i imagined him to be a dreamer...kinda outworldly. Im glad you felt that way to.. read more
Anna a. S.M.

6 Years Ago

Oh no problem :) I love to express my feelings about poems^^
You have utilised the rainy weather-season very well in your writing, good work, well done

Posted 6 Years Ago


Poussiere D'Ange

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much:-):-):-D.
Wonderful, rainy, descriptive. Loved it.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Poussiere D'Ange

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much. Glad u loved it:-):-):-D.
Wow! A unique start of a love story...foolish but something I like because of it's distinct plot.

As I said, it's only a start...sort of introduction to a novella (short novel) or novel if you have that interest.

Thanks for sharing this. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Poussiere D'Ange

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the review. And yes, i am thinking about it:-):-):-D.
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Pax
you never disappoint me in telling a great story my friend ~ i thoroughly enjoyed this ~ I like this kind of story ~ there is a mystery at the end, a love story with certain boundaries to pass... this can create a great story line ~ Brilliant take on the story my friend…

ps.. if there is part two on this, just message me away ;)


Posted 6 Years Ago


Poussiere D'Ange

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much dear friend for reading this. N ill think about a part 2.:-):-):-D.
Pax

6 Years Ago

don't forget to message me when your done ~ and your most welcome :)
Wow, I was very impressed with it. So intriguing, and the ending was just fantastic. It so accurately describes all teen boys, and definitely shows the level of vulnerability experienced by both boys and girls in this situation.

First off, excellent choice of title. The fact that it is a Led Zeppelin song caught my attention and got me to read it, and the story did not dissapoint.

The balance between imagery and regular language was superb, as you avoided many of the problems I see nowadays where people believe the only way to make a story good is to pump it so full of figurative language that its more stuffed with crap than a cow on steroids.

All in all, this was one of the better stories I have read today. Thank you for sharing it with us :)
Keep up the good work!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Poussiere D'Ange

6 Years Ago

Oh wow....thanks for that wonderful review. I just think that simple is better when expressing feeli.. read more
Imaginative. Descriptive. 'His Majesty' the football captain is the epitome of every high school jock that we all loathed at one time or another. There are few things more beautiful than the pitter-patter of rain and this story made me cherish it even more. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Poussiere D'Ange

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much. It made me glad that you enjoyed this:-):-):-D.
Okay, first of all, the very first sentence... I love converse! I wear them all the time *squeals*
Now that that's off my chest, the way that you wrote this story, and your choice of words, was beautiful. You also made your characters realistic. Wonderful job here, it seems like you really took your time on this.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Poussiere D'Ange

6 Years Ago

I love converse too. They are like my favorites:-D:-D:-D.
And thanks so much for the review. Y.. read more
RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

thank you :)
"Dazed and confused" maybe? or "Ten years gone "....anyway a great little story, love the thoughts that the main character has...well done

Posted 6 Years Ago


Poussiere D'Ange

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much:-):-):-D.

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12 Reviews
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Added on April 27, 2013
Last Updated on April 29, 2013
Tags: Fool, In, The Rain, Romance, Love, Teenager, Story

Author

Poussiere D'Ange
Poussiere D'Ange

The City Of Forbidden Love



About
Hello there, I am a just a person, who can only breathe in the toxic truths of bitter reality, but cannot really breathe out the trauma it causes inside of me. I'm just a s.. more..

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