Eli

This is a character in one of my books. (Haven't posted chapter one of that book, but I will soon)

Eli

Eli's hair is

black ink splattered across a crisp, white page.

His eyes are

green toxin sliding down your throat

causing all of your organs to collapse.

His laughter is dark and savage,

like mocking crows on a rainy Sunday.

And his heart holds only one: Rosaria.

Eli's personality is kryptonite

to everyone else around him

with a matching temper

that is a time bomb ticked down to .5 seconds.

His fangs are only comparable to diamonds:

incredibly strong and perfection.

His overcoat is

a cold blanket fashioned from pure darkness

that is in complete contrast to his stark white skin.

 

And where would this creature be without

strength no living thing could match?

Or speed only a jet plane could beat?

Or as indestructible as an army tank

reinforced with ten extra layers of steel?

Well, it's a good thing I granted him that.

Where would the world be without it?

He is tethered to sanity by  

a single thread of spider's silk

and he has been spreading terror on this earth

like a wildfire burning out of control in mid July

since the early 1200s.

So just remember:

when you wake up screaming

in the middle of the night,

that at least I took the time to warn you.

 

 

 

Author's Note

I made this as a portrait poem based off of one of my characters. Can you picture him?

Reviews

[Timeless-Chan]

nice ending! "just remember that i took the time to warn you" aha love it! which book/story is he in? i def wanna read it!

[RachelReaper]

I believe he comes into chapter tow in my one book. He's not my main character, but he does play a very significant part. I haven't posted chapter two and chapter one needs some serious editing, so it could take a while.

[Timeless-Chan]

alright:) just send me over a read request when you get around to it alright?:)

[RachelReaper]

ok

[Legolas]

I can picture him very well. Great description. I will have to read you book sometime.

[Jordan Easley]

Very Dark. A couple of critiques. Change "Perfection" to "Perfect". Change "Or as indestructible..." to "Or being as indestructible...". I really liked this though. Especially the end. I loved how you waited until the very end to add that warning. Very strategic. Nice job if you just consider adding those changes :)

[Xerclipse]

Oh boy, who wants to meet Eli. I love the imagery. Yes I can picture Eli pretty well

[luna11]

I love it :)
Very descritive. I love the imagery
Well written x

[Laura Maidah]

This makes me want to actually read the book. I can always read it after writing this, yes? It's quite good. I gotta say, it's more than expected.

[Lindsay T]

Wow, this is descriptive. I love all the details about Eli, I feel like he's in the room with me! "Eli's hair is black ink splattered across a crisp, white page." Incredible imagery! I can imagine him perfectly, with jet-black hair and bright green eyes. You have a way of transferring thoughts onto paper, and I envy that- that's something I struggle with in my own writing. Anyways, FANTASTIC poem! You have an amazing voice.

[deepblue04]

This imagery is amazing! I love it! very dark and appropiate! Good job and Rock on!

[K.J. Bryen]

Love the description! The imagery made him pretty terrifying. Although, I admittedly am a little curious about who Rosaria is. But definitely a great job.

[MOON]

Yes he is real and scary well written.