Eli

This is a character in one of my books. (Haven't posted chapter one of that book, but I will soon)

Eli

Eli's hair is

black ink splattered across a crisp, white page.

His eyes are

green toxin sliding down your throat

causing all of your organs to collapse.

His laughter is dark and savage,

like mocking crows on a rainy Sunday.

And his heart holds only one: Rosaria.

Eli's personality is kryptonite

to everyone else around him

with a matching temper

that is a time bomb ticked down to .5 seconds.

His fangs are only comparable to diamonds:

incredibly strong and perfection.

His overcoat is

a cold blanket fashioned from pure darkness

that is in complete contrast to his stark white skin.

 

And where would this creature be without

strength no living thing could match?

Or speed only a jet plane could beat?

Or as indestructible as an army tank

reinforced with ten extra layers of steel?

Well, it's a good thing I granted him that.

Where would the world be without it?

He is tethered to sanity by  

a single thread of spider's silk

and he has been spreading terror on this earth

like a wildfire burning out of control in mid July

since the early 1200s.

So just remember:

when you wake up screaming

in the middle of the night,

that at least I took the time to warn you.

 

 

 

Author's Note

I made this as a portrait poem based off of one of my characters. Can you picture him?

Reviews

[Death]

I love how you described the first three; hair, eyes, and laughter. They are so vivid and in an instant a image comes to mind. I also like the difference from the first stanza and the second, a description like piece and then a story like piece. The description throughout is extremely good though.

[Owlgirl]

Wow, amazing description! Well worded and exceptional imagery. You may want to work a little on the flow of the poem, but the jagged offbeatness actually seems to fit the description of Eli, so it's up to you. :) Great writing.

[V]

Very vivid and descriptive. Very interesting character:3

[WickedPenWielder]

I love how you describe him in the beginning. And it gives you an eerie vibe as you read it through. It flows really well and you use good word play!

[Harley (arbiter)]

This reminds me of a like ... character in mythology or something. I'm racking my brain to think of it but I know that this rings a bell. A very faint bell. Its good and I can picture him. If I remember I will tell ya. Great write though