Defective

My mind is deranged

dewired

defective

damaged

My hope is crushed

obliterated

torn

shredded

But I'm perfectly fine

I'm perfectly fine

And it won't ever change

It won't ever change

Author's Note

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Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the directness and accepted place of ending.
"But I'm perfectly fine
I'm perfectly fine
And it won't ever change
It won't ever change"
The above lines are solid. I could write a complete story from the lines. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Shari Robinson]

Excellent, the simplicity and clarity of this is really good.

[Amelia May]

wow. i love the deep meaning behind the simplicity. thank you so much for sharing!

[Spirit]

Simplicity... I love it :)

[Josh Dollar]

Good poetry, dude! A lot of emotion.

[Luna's Words]

Wow your poetry is so lovely

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

I like this piece, very well written beautiful flow thanks for sharing

[alf]

Hi LimnoH. Wow this is truly deep and motivated and exudes powerful emotion. Loved it, alf

[dan]

LimnoH, Yes you are fine. Those 8 words also describe me, a lot of other writers on WC and millions upon millions of citizens walking the earth. It's what you do IN SPITE OF these faux limitations that counts. If you really want to you can HOPE that it changes, but I've come to the same conclusion about myself that you did in your last stanza: It won't ever change. Embrace who you are, no matter what obstacles loom before you. A very intense and personal write. Nice job! take care...dan (Hey when will you review one of mine? Or have you done so? Sorry, I have early-onset stupidity)

[ANTO]

I liked the alliteration of stanza one LimnoH. Then theres a slight change of style in stanza two. I liked that - its reiterates most of the first stanza beefing the poem up and then the last stanza - reminded me of when we fall in a busy place and we spring up like a jack-in-the-box brushing ourselves off - pride hurt more than physical injury. But in this case feelings and emotional injuries abound.
The final stanza with it two lines repeated - the speaker convincing themselves with the double mantra.
Its everything a 'heart-shot-to-hell-poem' should be my friend. Cool.
:)