Sick of you

What if your own demon is sick of you

Taste the metal between my teeth

Caste it into an iron sword

Throw it out onto an open field

Hoping that it brings back the feeling

Hidden among the darkness

Crystal clear

Its eyes shine brighter

Even brighter than my own

Since when did it start

When will it end

When it began to become more lively

Than I had ever been

Words makes sense

Not coming from my mouth

I choose to ignore

Continue on the same path

Yet what kind of world is it

When your own demon

Starts making more sense

Than you yourself do

And they become

"sick of you"

Author's Note

Anti-sonnie is a demon version of a character. Sort of represent the demon inside of myself I guess.

Reviews

[AaronFreitas]

If you hit the point that your inner demon hates you then thats an entirely new level! haha nice dark write I enjoyed it :)

[Indra Neil]

a dark write with brilliant imagery and metaphors! very well composed!

[dan]

Perhaps no one pisses me off more than I do myself, so often I sit wallowing in self-hatred, sick of myself. We all have times/days like that and you've described it very well, nice job! take care...dan

[Willard Wells]

Well we all have demons and we all deal with them differently. But since the demon is part of us, the question would be, are we tired of ourselves and need to reboot. Thought provoking in some ways. Nice wirte.

[Kajal Sharma]

it was really a good one...everybody has a dark side, perhaps a "demon"..!

[B]

I know how that feels ........
Withdrawing can bring this state of mind
Until you put some spark in by creating something

I usually sketch or dance
Then your demon finds a way of shrinking into nothing

[Robert]

Its different and flows well, well done.

[Riv]

It's a hit and miss sometimes xD I get mixed reviews when trying something new. I'm mainly a story writer so poems are hard for me anyway! But not many people on here read stories as friendly as they are.

[Roxie M]

LOL! Very funny! I am know my Guardian Angel is surely worn out from me! This is so funny, from the misery to be had by most! I think you are a little bit warped. (said with a smile)

[Riv]

Lol my guardian angel is more like a beast whose smarter than me ^w^

[Perkele.7885]

Being a non-science-fiction fan, I try my best to follow the way your poem is structured for readability by the greatest medium of people.
Since you are not using a sentence format, we have to throw a lot of suggestions out.
The only punctuation you have used is the quotation marks at the very end and you have Capped each starting word of each line good consistency there!
Your poem is well structured, and I am sure makes more sense to many more people than I.
For all the above reasons; this is a good write and well done if only to a specified audience.

[Riv]

When I was in english class, my teacher told me poetry never needed punctuation so I never have really put periods at the end of poems. Multiple people have told me though I should punctuate my poetry.

[Perkele.7885]

A sentence remains a sentence wherever it appears and requires punctuation. Often, poetry is written without sentences being used at all, but is written using phrases or words followed by a comma or a semi-colon before indexing to the next line
sometimes people resort to no punctuation at all but, I, myself, find this to be in-complete writing

[Perkele.7885]

Punctuation is important so that a reader other than yourself can read your poetry as you have written it.