You, A Wonderful You

 

A jovial smile on your face,

Leaves an everlasting pleasure on mine,

Your dazzling eyes give me immense strength,

And your beautiful dimples, a flavor of wine.

 

Impossible is nothing,

The lesson I learned from you.

Your benevolent nature adds to it a little something,

And the smoothness of your eternal truth

 

My life isn't much,

But a puddle of rainwater,

Sometimes a perpetual love such,

Sometimes just a lake of endless miseries.

 

You are the one,

Who gave me the realization,

Realization of what is true and false,

Realization of what is right and wrong.

 

This may sound a little extravagant,

But you changed me to the core.

You might not have liked it being gaudy,

But remind I will every time, how you changed the course of my life.

Author's Note

Do tell me, if you liked it.

Reviews

[Falling Leaf.]

'Ello, and welcome to the Cafe! I dropped by to give you a review, a warm welcome, and a friend! I understand making yourself heard in the Cafe can be intimidating---we've all been through it at one point.

Anyway, onto your piece. I quite loved it. There wasn't much rhythm, but your raw adoration and love here trumps that anyday. There are some unneccesary commas and such, but a quick edit can fix that....The only other advice I can think to give you is that if you want to add some rhythm to this piece, then I suggest making the lines closer to the same length. Other than that, a lovely piece, and a tremendous start to your Writer's Cafe legacy!

Work hard, write with passion, and don't you let me down!
Happy writing, the kindest regards, and the best of luck...
Savannah

[Lonti Buzzfern]

Thank you so much. I'll do my best to write even better poems than this.

[Lonti Buzzfern]

And I really appreciate your welcoming me and writing such a constructive review for my poem. Thanks a lot.