Monsoon

Knock, bang...
Crash, thud...

Flash, rain....
Splash, floods...

Fans humming,
Doors creaking,
Clouds breaking,
Skies leaking...

Flash...
thud....
STOP.

Silence.
Nothing.
Darkness.
Pitch black.

Silence.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
Air stands still.
3, 2, 1....
Flash
Double flash.
2, 1....
Thunder.

Welcome
To the monsoon.

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Well done Laura. The shortness of the sentences and the words chosen certainly convey the quick rise of a storm leading to the pause when the eye sweeps over.
We went through a hurricane on the Outer Banks about 3 yrs ago and this certainly reminded me of that experience.

A good write.

[Laura Kate]

I’m so glad you enjoyed reading this Ted, thanks for visiting my page and for such a thoughtful review :) Laura

[barleygirl]

Sorry to rain on your monsoon, but here in arid California, I read this as more of an earthquake situation! *wink! wink!* One of my favorite things about your dynamic writing is how you use lively verbs & onomatopoeia (words that sound like the noises you're conveying). This is a delightful scramble of stormy sensations (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Laura Kate]

I loved this review Margie! I'm glad it is relatable. I miss California, it has been a long time. Thank you for your comments! Best wishes, Laura

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you really make us feel the storm...

the rhyme of this...the beat of this...thunder, lightning...quite frightening.

j.

[Laura Kate]

Thank you Jacob! I’m glad I was able to get across how scary this was, it really was very unnerving. Best wishes, Laura