Plot Idea About Angels.. Advice Would be Great!

With her husband Toby in hospital and the arrival of an angel, RIley's world is turned upside down...

Riley has just got out of the shower with the television in the background when she gets a phone call from the hospital, saying that her husband is in hospital.

 

She rushes to hospital where he tells her that he found her number in his wallet and that her husband had had an overdose on drugs and is in a coma.

 

She rushes in crying and talks to him when a man walks in claiming he is an angel. He introduces himself and says he is Nathan, an angel sent to watch over Toby, her husband.

Riley tells him that his job has been really hard on him and he is a good man, he just had a hard few months which resulted in drugs.

She interrogates him and he doesn’t say too much.

 

His point of view where he just describes what’s happening around the room, also describing Riley’s body language, showing guilt and sorrow.

 He can’t tell what she’s feeling guilty about and doesn’t ask.

Matthew asks a question to him asking about Toby’s condition and he tells him.

 

 

Basically, they are there everyday and Riley keeps trying to talk to him. He ends up smiling after a few days or even weeks and soon he starts to have opinions and he makes a joke.

Riley is happy to have him there as Toby’s condition slowly increases and he gets better although he is still unconscious.

 

The next day Riley comes to the hospital when she is greeted by Laurence, a new angel who has replaced Nathan and is there to watch over Toby.

Riley asks why he has gone and he tells her that Nathan has started to have feelings and this new influence is causing great distress over him and the other angels around him.

 Riley is heartbroken and sad and over the next few hours or even days Toby’s condition worsens and she demands that Laurence brings Nathan back.

He says no and she tells him that she knows things that the angels will not want to get out, and she won’t hesitate in calling a journalist.

He tells her that people only hear about the good angels, designed for little kids trying to get to sleep and they are in fact powerful angels designed to fight for their people and their planet.

They will not hesitate in killing one person to save the identities of all of them. She storms out the hospital, distraught and desperate to find him.

 

How?

 

She goes on the internet trying to find the woman who said the angel was bad and she finds her name on a chat room site, showing her address.

She goes there and asks for and information about the evil angel. She tells her that his name was Laurence and he killed her husband of twenty eight years.

She tells Riley that when he thought she was asleep (she was resting her eyes) he was talking to himself and he mentioned a man in Cardiff called Oscar Alexan.

She goes to find him and he is quite nervous at first, then admitting that he knows how to find the angels once Riley breaks down telling his her husband is getting worse and she was really starting to like Nathan and she thought that they had something.

He tells Riley that he used to be an angel but he didn’t want to be one any longer (his story) and that he felt the same way with a lady as Riley did towards Nathan. He developed powerful feelings and ripped his wings off, falling from heaven and becoming human to be with his wife, Alison.

But since that happened the angels had started to pay a lot more attention on the ones coming down on Earth and the moment they think something will happen they put a stop to it. He knows this because from time to time he still gets some thoughts coming into his head like he used to.

 

He tells Riley that the only way to see Nathan is to become an angel herself and that involves Oscar.

Oscars chapter and he communicates with the other angels in his head with an unsuccessful start, then saying that he has a person wanting to commit to helping the future and the people of the world.

An angel appears, Marcus, and opens his hand so Riley can come forward. She slowly walks forward and puts her hand in his, light swirling around her and then she disappears surrounded by bright lights.

Marcus talks to Oscar, asking what his real motive was. He stays true to his story and says that she wants to help. He thinks of Alison and he knows it’s for the best.

 

It’s Nathan’s chapter and he is on a different mission with Benjamin, another angel where they are in the middle of the ocean surrounded by nothing but water.

He asks Benjamin if he ever wishes that they could help the people in places such as Cambodia rather then just watch over them.

Benjamin looks at Nathan oddly and says that it’s not part of there job and if it was needed then they would be instructed to do so.

Nathan feels lonely and thinks about Riley who was the first person who made him feel something or have an opinion about something.

 

Riley is in a dark room with a few white lights scattered around. Marcus later appears and asks why she is there, a little like an interview. Her emotions are easy to read and he knows that she has another reason, sussing it out to be Nathan. He tells Riley that she won’t let him fall and if she comes back again she will be destroyed. At that moment Nathan appears and sees Riley being taken back to Earth.

 

Back in the hospital Toby is getting worse and doctors tell Riley that it’s time to say goodbye and he is slowly weakening and it should all be over in a few more days. She cries at his side with Laurence watching them closely.

 

The next day she wakes up at the hospital and has to go to work. Once she’s outside Oscar comes, grabbing her by the arm and ushering her out to someplace quiet. He tells her that Nathan is communicating with him and he tells her what she is saying.

Riley tells him that she tried to become an angel in order to get closer to him and she hoped that her emotions would get the better of her with her family still alive and still here, and she would try and she would be able to talk to Nathan without anyone banning her from doing so, plus she could watch over her husband and replace Laurence so he doesn’t kill him.

 Nathan now finds out that Laurence has taken his place and is now more willing to do something about it.

 

Nathan’s chapter and he receives an order to go to watch over another patient in the same hospital. He’s there and he can’t stop thinking about Riley and Laurence and he tells the lady not to worry and everything will be alright.

When she is asleep he goes over to Toby’s room and sees him smirking at him. He grips his arm and they appear in an alleyway, where they fight. With Nathan’s motivation and emotions running through his veins on the hope that he will see Riley and he will help her with Toby, and Laurence’s thirst for violence it’s tough but Nathan wins as he slams Laurence into a wall, and Laurence vanishes into the heavens.

He goes back to the hospital where he takes his place and Toby starts to heal.

 

Riley’s chapter and she comes into the hospital and she sees Nathan there. She rushes to him and hugs him tightly, tears falling from her cheeks. He tells her that he had heard what the other angels are thinking and once Toby is better they are going to banish him away to somewhere remote and where he goes back to his old ways.

 

When Toby’s eyes open and he wakes up he sees Riley. The doctors come and make sure he is okay and Riley and Nathan have to step outside to talk. (Nathan’s chapter) He thinks that Riley will now stay with Toby and he accepts that, he doesn’t one to be the one to break up their relationship.

However when they enter the room Toby tells Riley that he can’t stand the sight of her, and the real reason why he took the drugs was him dealing with her constant talking and nagging.

Crying, she runs out of the room and Nathan follows after her with a new emotion he hasn’t felt before, anger. He breaths deeply so he doesn’t hit him and comforts Riley.

As they embrace Marcus and Benjamin appear to take him back. With his emotions all over the place and being able to feel for the first time – love, anger, confusion etc – he rips his wings off, screaming in agony and falling to the floor.

 

Then the epilogue when its two months later and Nathan and Riley are in the park, Nathan for the first time seeing all the surroundings with peace and opinions about everything. It’s Riley’s and Nathan’s chapter, as it switches with each paragraph, and they are taking their time learning things about each other and finding out what Nathan is like as a human rather then an Angel.

 

 

*Angels don’t appear on CCTV.

*Their wings are invisible; they look just like normal people. But when they rip them off they’re attached to them.

*To switch between scenes Riley could go to work and feel isolated…

Author's Note

It's the idea i want you to look at, not the style of writing. I was a little impatient writing it but the story will be well written. Is the idea of the story too complicated? Or maybe too... Advice please :) Thank you.

Reviews

[Lizanne]

You idea is a good one. As long as you do not write it in this style. Too confusing. But the concept is a good one and could be expanded into a great story. Go for it. Will be interested in seeing what you do with this.

[Kira]

Kind of complicated...you used too many pronouns to be switching between characters, and I lost track of who you were talking about countless times. However, it's intruiging and has promise...you should act on it.