Chapter 3 - It's Really Over Now

The Final Chapter

Chapter 3 " It’s Really Over Now

“What?! Your STILL haven’t auditioned yet?” I scream, nearly dropping my cell phone.
I hear G-Dragon, nervously on the other line, “Sorry, but the line is long…”
“G-D…please…I can’t go alone!” I uselessly beg.
“Oh um…*shh krrr* oh your *shherr* the phones breaking up…give Geun by love!” Then the line goes dead and I’m left staring at myself in the mirror in disbelief. Ah, that G-Dragon, I swear he does these things on purpose. I quickly finish straightening my vest and put on my only black sports coat. The only Geun gave me…

I pout like a little kid as I reach for the door handle…G-Dragon has just informed me that he still isn’t done auditioning for SM and probably won’t make it to the wedding. I thought I wasn’t going to have to face this day alone?

At least he has a chance at his dreams. I’m almost to the taxi that’s already waiting for me, and hand the driver money. I hop into the back with a loud thud, and unbutton my jacket. It’s Spring, but warmer than usual. On the way to the church I couldn’t help but jealously smile as I realize that G-Dragons chances of getting into a real group under SM entertainment is better than my chances of getting Geun.

As he rolls up to the Church, the smooth pavement turns to gravel and I can hear the loud crunch or small pebbles under the wheels of the vehicle. The sound drowns out my thoughts, but I’m way to disheveled to be calm. I force a smile, open the door, and begin my long journey up the unending Church steps. When I reach the towering doors with stained glass windows intricately depicting different scenes from the bible, and I can’t help but wish I were a religious man. Maybe that would help in a time like this.

I cautiously enter and look to my right just in time to see a door open. “TaeYang! Over Here!” An over-excited voice calls to me. I see her round eyes sparkle and the veil on her head is neatly draped over her. I walk to her without thinking, and I have to punch myself in the chest to hold back the tears. The tears I will have to live with for the rest of my life.

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you

“You look amazing, little bride,” I try not to choke, until she comes up and nearly topples me over in a big hug.
“Your nearly late…. I-I thought you weren’t coming,” She pouts and slowly lets go of me.
“S-sorry…um…G-Dragon can’t come,” I do my best to not look at her. But the blinding white reflects the brilliant spring sun and draws me in. Still, I feel regret tear me apart at the thought that this could have once been us.

“Oooohh, too busy becoming a star, huh?” She laughs at her own joke and when I don’t laugh she asks the inevitable question. “Are you alright?”
“What? I’m fine!” But I can’t smile to cover up how I feel.

Please forget how miserable I look
Because it’s going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

“O"k, well I have to finish getting ready…” she begins.
I silently nod and turn to leave as she closes the door. That felt different. I’ve never had a conversation so awkward like that with her before. Are we already growing apart? Is it my fault?

“Hey! TaeYang,” Hae-Jin calls to me from the other end of the hallway.
I take a long drawn out breath before confronting him. This is also his day, and even if I’m jealous, that’s no reason to ruin it for him.
“Hey…you look ready to get married,” I joke, seeing, as his shirt is un-tucked, his tie not tired properly, and he’s sweating like crazy.
“Well, there was an…incident with the ring. But it’s all good now,” He reports.
I do my classic fake-smile and nod, “Good…now go get ready. You can’t go out looking like that” Did I say that a little too condescending?
“Yeah…hehe right” he starts fixing his shirt, “Oh, and don’t forget! We got you a reserved seat in the front row.”
“Right, thanks,” there is nothing more than politeness in my tone; not even friendliness.

I wave bye and enter the crowded Church. I go to the front row and sit down. Everyone seems to know each other and are laughing and talking pleasantly. I can’t help but feel out of place. I spy the white grand piano and focus in on it. It’s just as white as Geun’s dress. Suddenly, I can’t help but watch as a scene unfolds before my eyes…

A little girl, probably about six years old, comes and sits on the stool of the piano bench. She’s so cute, with a miniature version of Geun’s wedding dress only hers’ has a crème sash. She even has white gloves the fit perfectly and grasps a crème basket with flower pedals filled to the brim. ‘She must be the flower girl’ I say to myself, realizing I never really took notice of her before. Her silky black hair frames her face and a strand falls, covering her coal-like eye.

A few feet away, I see a little boy, similar to me in many ways. He looks nervous and is twirling his figures anxiously. He is around five, and the taller one behind him looks about seven or eight. ‘Hmm…two ring bearers’ I can’t help noticing how similar the scene is. The taller boy pushes the one that looks like me towards the little flower girl. He clearly likes her, but he’s so hesitant? What’s he waiting for? Why doesn’t he just go over and talk to her?

One last push and the boy is at the piano stool, and there is no turning back now. The taller boy scampers away and the two are left alone. I can’t help but feel like I’m watching a Drama and were just getting to the climax. The boy sits and the two are silent for some time. Finally, he begins talking and I can see the girls’ eyes light up as she laughs. They go back and forth, but the boy is still clearly nervous.

Unfortunately, a bell rings signifying the ceremony to start. The boy stands up and bravely extends a shaky hand. And now I’m unsure who’s more nervous…me or him? But the girl seems to suddenly become shy. She quickly takes her basket and vanishes, running past him. My heart drops as I see the boy drag each sad step as he walks away…denied. And I can’t get this scene out of my mind throughout the entire ceremony. I even nearly miss my cue to go up and play Geun’s vow song.

And honestly, while playing, I wasn’t even there. My mind kept thinking ‘It’s not me next to you’. And even this applied to that little boy. I didn’t want things to end up for him the same why as Geun and I did.

Once the blur of a ceremony was over, I was surprised to see how fast it had been. And with being preoccupied about the little kids, I hardly thought about myself. Was I over her? No…I just had something else to think about.

I finally stand up and leave the pew. While weaving in and out of the overjoyed crowd, I search frantically for the kids I saw earlier. Finally I spot them all standing near a Statue of Mary with candles around her. The two boys are watching her from a distance and she looks so innocent with the flicker of the candlelight dancing across her face. Then, an unforeseen twist in the plot develops. A new boy comes onto the scene. And he has the same air of confidence that Hae-Jin has. ‘No’ I mutter, shaking my head, unable to look away. His cheesy smile catches his attention and he swings his arm quickly around her. I watch the mini-me’s jaw drop in jealousy and disappointment as he friend puts and arm around him to comfort him. For kids, this all seems so serious.

I put my hand in my jacket pocket and there it is. The small, cool gold feels good against my bare skin. I have an idea, and for the first time I realize what I can do…what I should have now all along.

I walk up to the two boys and point and the mini-me, “Hey you! Come here,” I gesture to him.
“Me?” he points at himself then looks at his friend. I nod and he comes over just as I requested, “Sorry sir, but I don’t know you and I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”
“Oh, I’m not a stranger! I’m the brides’ best friend,” I say proudly, hoping he trusts me.
“Oh…ok. I guess we are kinda alike. I’m friends with her little cousin, Soon-Yi, the flower girl.”
I smile genuinely for the first time today, “Oh, you like her, huh?”
The boy turns red and slowly nods, “Is it easy to tell?”
“No,” I laugh, “She won’t notice any time soon,” I explain, more to myself than to him. “What what’s your name?” I ask.
“I’m Dae-Ho,” he tells me.
“Well, Dae Ho, it’s nice to meet you. I’m TaeYang. And I think I can help you get Soon-Yi to like you.
He perks up, smiling brightly, giving me his full attention, “How?”
“Well this might come in handy,” I pull out the ring from my pocket and the boy becomes breathless. He’s speechless, and it’s the first time I’m not regretting buying this ring. So maybe it won’t be given to Geun Young…at least he won’t make the same mistake I did.
“Oh my…that’s beautiful,” he exclaims.
“Yep, and it can be yours to give to Soon-Yi on two conditions,” I deviously smile.
“What…anything!” He blurts out, and I spear this kid would have sold his soul just to make her happy.
“One"You got to give it to her when you think it’s the right time. Two"Always trust your heart. It doesn’t lie to you. So if you like her, don’t ignore your heart and don’t make up excuses. Just let her know how you feel.” I place the ring in his cupped hands and he holds unto it like it’s the most precious jewel in the world.
“I promise, TaeYang” he vigorously nods.
I laugh at his enthusiasm, “Well go on! Go talk to her before that other guys steals her.”
“Thank you,” Dae Ho gives me a quick hug and runs off into Soon-Yi’s direction.

As I watch him run up, grab her hand, and pull her away from the other guy, I can’t stop me grim from growing. He holds out her hand and shyly hands her the ring, to which her response is not surprising. She quickly hugs him, both smiling, baby-faces showing.

“That was a really nice thing you did,” an all too familiar voice says behind me.
Without turning around I reply, “Well, at least one of us deserves a happy ending.”
“Aww…don’t be like that! You’ll have your happy ending. But for now…I get mine!”
I turn around, my mouth shaped like an ‘O’, as we both let out a scream and jump up and down.
“Seriously?”
“Yep! I’m in! Haha! You’re looking at the next member and leader of SM’s newest boy band!” He screams, before we realize were still in Church.
I clear my throat, “Your amazing,” I smile.
“Yup,” he brags, looking more excited than he ever has his entire life. Then, as we begin to exit the building, he turns to me with a solemn look and say, “It’s all thanks to you.”
I almost begin to laugh before I realize that he’s serious, “Me?”
“Yeah"“

“TaeYang! Bye!” We both turn around to see Dae Ho waving with one hand, the other entwined with the little flower girl, Soon-Yi.
“Bye!” I wave back, then prompt G-Dragon to fully explain.
“Right…well, I kinda wrote this song about you and Geun’s love story. It’s called ‘Day By Day’, and I think during the audition it really impressed them,” though his over-confident smirk I can still see how serious he is.
“Really…didn’t think it was that interesting,” I mumble the last part.
His mood suddenly changes to that over excited kid I grew up with, “Well I think it is! And when I’m making millions and are producing the music video, I want you to be in it. After all, it’s your story.”

“Deal,” I smile and nod, not turning back as we walk into the distance. It’s time to move on. I feel it. And while I’ll never forget these years of my life, I don’t think I could have asked for a better ending than this. With G-D off to his dream occupation, I’ve decided to begin chasing after mine. Who knows, maybe one day the whole world will hear my story. And if that happens, I just hope they realize what it took me my whole life to learn. That even the smallest of decisions can change your live, but only if you allow them to. It’s not about making the right choices, but about dealing with the choices you have already made.
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END

Author's Note

Ah, insightful endings.