Confessions of a Cutter

This is a cutters Confession.Again a fictional piece.

I sit here in this freakin psych ward. My mother swears that there's something wrong with me. Why? Because of the fact that I self harm. I've cutted and I've burned myself, but these people in here don't know that, but all of that will change soon. Real soon. For until today I didn't want to share my story. I didn't want people to know about my screwed up family, but the more I thought about it the more the idea of embarrising the crape out of my parents sounded wonderful, and to show them that I had problems, and I didn't need to be here. That I loved to self harm. So I prepared my confession.1

"So Evelene are you going to share today?"Mrs. Marcy ask.
"Yes, mam I am." I replied.
"Okay, when your ready."
"Okay, here it goes. The reason that I'm in here is because I love to self harm. I love the way it feels to mutilate my body. I remember the first time I cutted. My best friend had become a stuck up prep. She was part of the in crowd, and didn't want anything to do with me, actually she yelled and embarrased me in front of half of the school. That day I went home so distrought that I grabbed a knife from out kitchen draw. Before I realized what I was doing I felt the knife as it pierced my skin, I watched as the blood flowed from my arm. It felt like a high. It releaved my pain. I felt happy. Then I started going out with her ex, who was totally hot, but she took it the wrong way. She called me all sorts of names, and then had the audasity to steal him from me. He told in a sweet voice, that he was just not interested anymore. That was the second,third,fourth,and fifth time I cutted, I guess you could say, because that night I cutted myself five deep, sweet times. It felt really good. Then my mom started doing drugs, one day when I came home,she was high, and started screaming at me, so I screamed back, that's when she first hitted me. That was the sixth time I cutted. I thought about running away, but I didn't. I thought about killing myself, but I didn't. I don't know why, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Then the first time I burned myself, was when one of her boyfriends came over the same day that her and my dad's divorce was final. The man had twisted my arm, thinking that I was filthy for letting him touch me I went to my mom's car, pushed in the little lighter thing, and burned myself. The pain it brought was relief. So to make a long story short the time my dad caught me cutting was after my mom had punched me in the face. I was over at his house and had worn sunglasses to hide the black eye I had. I was in the bathroom, and didn't here my dad calling my name. The truth is I had cutted to deep from my elbow to my wrist.The last thing I remembered before I fell unconsious is that my dad kicked in the door. After that I woke up in the hospital.I heard my dad and mom arguing. My mom wanted to send me here, my dad blamed it on her, and said that he wanted sole custody and that I should come live with him. My mom won because right now she has custody of me. There your happy I told my story."
The room was silent, and I saw a few of the girls and guys crying silent tears. I hated it. I hated people feeling pity on me. The counsler took a moment,but continued.That night I cried myself to sleep, because I had brought up painful memories, that I didn't want to relive or remember.Maybe one day I can forgive my mom, but until then I'll keep my confessions of a cutter to myself.

Author's Note

What do you think I could do better?

Reviews

[Revolutionary]

THIS IS NO SUGAR COATING
Make sure cutted is the word you want to use.(does she have bad grammer?)if you are going for an uneducated charachter then cool,but cutted is not a word.Cut sounds better,but I would use slash slice.
"I remembered the first time i sliced"

[Calypso]

I liked this. It's a good scene of what can happen.

[Revolutionary]

that was the first time she hit me.That was the sixth time I cut.
that was the sixth time I slashed.
I think about running away, but I don't.
I tought about running away, but I didn't.

All in all it is a good story about a touchy subject.I am going to guess that you are young.I have not read your profile yet.You need to spell check and make some grammer changes.I am guilty of the same often.I think you should say why your best friend yelled at you.What names she called you.I think you should tell more about the moms drug use.If it caused you to want to try drugs,or make a connection between the drug high and the cutting high.Tell how you were both getting high in different ways.That could be the key to forgivness