old trialer for IN THE BLOOD

So I am getting ready to make a new IN THE BLOOD Trailer. Check out the old one and tell me what you think I should improve?

Author's Note

THanks

Reviews

[Marie Anzalone]

Hey, Lucien, I actually disagree with the ones who said use a deeper voice- because I think your voice is perfect for it. I agree with changing the clarity of the wording that is flashed. I also think the pictures could use a little clarity- it was hard tot ell what I was looking at, and they seemed a little out of synch with the voice over. I am curious why you chose to change POV in the middle? I wonder if sticking to either first or third person would stengthen this? The music conveys a sense of action, a thriller. Is this your intent? if so, it's brilliant. If you want to convey mystery, fade it into the fast-paced music from something perhaps more Twilight Zone'ish at the beginning.

Overall, I like your image and what you are doing with this. This is not a genre I deal with much, but you have a better grasp on what makes a great story than most who write in this field. I think that what you doing here is very cutting edge, and you will have a limitless market. Your talent and skill show forth very well. Great work!

[incarnated deception]

its great but you have to make it so incredibly dark that not even the sun can break through this cloud you need to make the vampiress increasingly indepth k love the idea though good work

[Mark]

Intriguing, but the red lettering was not clear. It was too dark, too stylized and on the screen too briefly. Is "In The Blood" a movie? I have never heard of novels having trailers. As to the general aspect of your characters, as I've mentioned brfpre, vamps and such are not my thing, so I'd be unqualified to judge their authenticity, particularly from a 45-second clip. Sorry to be so little help. Mark

[Helen Woodward]

Hi Lucien, good to hear from you. I LOVE IT!!! The only thing I would change is the text color...or at least make it a brighter red as it is difficult to read, you have put a lot of work into it and it shows...CREEPY...just what you are aiming at...you go you good thing...
Congratulations :-)
Cheers,

Helen :-)