Introduction - Behind the Mask of Sanity

Introductory chapter to book 'Behind the Mask of Sanity'

When I was a child, I had a queer obsession with the moments that came just before a storm. Perhaps it was the illusion of calm created by the stillness of the heavy grey clouds that drew me outside to my front porch, while the other little children ran home at the beckoning of their mothers. Encapsulated by the stillness of the darkened skies, I liked to imagine that I was the last person left in a world where all motion had slowed to a grinding halt. In these moments of silence, everything seemed more magnified; a stray ant tracing a path home suddenly seemed imbued with much purpose as it feverishly scurried up a hill. The leaves dancing in a careless pattern suddenly picked up a rhythm and swirled in the cyclonic pattern of the coming winds. Separated by this thin moment of tranquility, I was all too aware of sitting dangerously close to the edge of the chaos that loomed on the horizon. Nonetheless, I remained frozen in my resolve, listening for something that I believed no one else could hear. I listened for something beyond the rolling thunders in the distance; something which echoed the groans of turmoil hidden deeply in the crook of a broken smile. The world was on the verge of explosion and I could feel the charge in the air. There was always an initial struggle as the clouds thickened against impending rupture. Inevitably, they always lost. For me, the true moment of reckoning came with the first flash of lightening that slashed open the belly of the heavy clouds, letting out a thunderous roar as the sky spewed forth its content. A final release that was at once bitter and sweet. The floodgates opened and the weight of the rain came down heavier than the burden of a thousand lies. Before this moment, all is calm. Before this, no one on the outside can see the storm brewing just beneath the surface. But every now and then, those who sit close enough can feel the charge in the air, much like an unnamed pain, balled up at the throat and awaiting the right moment to spill forward with seismic force.

Reviews

[Viccy Rogers]

You seem like a very talented writer! Your vocabulary and use of descriptive writing techniques are great, I especially love 'The leaves dancing in a careless pattern suddenly picked up a rhythm and swirled in the cyclonic pattern of the coming winds' - very inspiring. As a comment on how to improve, I would suggest you split the text up more. Even though it isn't a particularly long chapter, I would still recommend using paragraphs so it is easier to read without slipping into the tendency of skimming. This can also be effective for building up tension to create a more dramatic ending or opening, you could maybe include a few one word/line paragraphs? Apart from the structure, everything else is very impressive and advanced. Great piece to be honest! A very intriguing first chapter to read:) and as a final point - the title is good too, very mysterious and a good way to get the reader instantly hooked....

[Lucy Schwartz]

Thank you very much for the review, especially the part about breaking the paragraph down. I did extract it from a document compiled as a book, so I suppose I didn't quite consider the difference in the visual effect of posting it in a different format. I look forward to putting up the next full instalment within a week or two, and will pay heed to paragraphing as suggested.

[Viccy Rogers]

No problem, I enjoyed reading it:)

[Atthis Rose]

Writer I very much agree with the statements of the first commentator. However to continue the trend you seem to have impregnated your work with much imagery that presages a great expectations as to what could be lurking in the mind as well as life of that young child to burden him with such a brooding persona. What does this portend i wonder?