ONE

 

 

One

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Students talked and laughed with their closes friend at the first day of school. The Dean was near the front of the enormous dinning hall drinking his wine while other teacher made small talk. Food was being greatly passed out and many teenager stuffed their faces. Freshman were wearing their calming blue uniforms, Sophomore wore their warm yellow and brown uniforms, Juniors looked elegant in their green uniforms, and the Seniors shined brightly in their white uniforms.

            Katarina Zimmerman had arrived late from the airport in Maine and was rushing to find the dinning hall. She heard the loud voices of everyone inside and she swung open the door. Everyone turned towards their door and the dinning hall became extremely quiet.  Katrina was wearing some distressed shorts, black converse, a white tank top, and a few gold accessories. Her hair was dyed midnight black and cut into a short bob.

            Her lips were tinted a red and her whole vibe was punkish, but it stuck out like a sore thumb in the waves of uniforms. She was so confident that it was unreal.  She walked casually up to the Dean and handed him a piece of paper. He nodded his head and Katarina took her seat at the Sophomore table. The Sophomores moved a few seats away from her, and a few girls from other tables gave her dirty looks.

            Katrina rolled her pale blue eyes and let her black Ray Bans fall over her pretty eyes.

“So that is the infamous’ Betty Zimmerman’s sister?” Dawn Fields whispered to two friends Marie and Analisa Bonnet.

            Dawn Fields like Katrina was also a sophomore, and was the daughter of Katarina’s mother’s best friend. Marie and Analisa Bonnet were twins from France who came to The Exquisites Academy just this year and have been following Dawn around like little puppies.

            Marie and Analisa turned around and looked at Katrina who stuck her tongue out at them.

“She is so rude.” Marie scoffed.

“Very un lady like.” Analisa pushed her hair over her shoulder. 

“Talking about my sister now are you?”

            The three girls froze and saw Betty Zimmerman standing right next to them with her entourage of Senior girls. Betty had piercing dark blue eyes and light brown hair she also had the vintage look with pale red lipstick and her white pencil skirt.

“No where not.”  Dawn tried to laughed away her uneasiness.

“Right.” Betty crossed her arms over her chest “You better watch it Dawn.” Betty warned.

            Dawn nodded her head feeling Betty’s blue eyes burning through her. Betty and her entourage walked away and Dawn flung a piece of an apple at Marie and Analisa.

“Thanks for the back up.” She hissed at them.

“But that was Betty Zimmerman—“

“Messing with her is social suicide.” Analisa finished for Marie.

            Katrina bobbed her head along with Yeah Yeah Yeahs on her Ipod. People gave her snobby looks but she ignored them. Katrina felt a tap on her shoulder, she spun around and removed her ear buds from her ears.

“Betty.” Katrina smiled and hugged her sister.

“Hey kido.” Betty sat down next to her sister. “Why were you late?” Betty asked.

“My plane was a little behind in time, and I got lost on the way over here.” Katrina shrugged.

“Oh, so let me just ask… how was London?”

            Katrina had run off to London over the summer because she didn’t want to deal with her mother marrying her stepfather and she didn’t want to come to The Exquisites Academy.

“London was… interesting.” Katrina grinned.

“Okay well I gotta get back to my table.” Betty hugged her sister and kissed her cheek.

 

            Jenna Sadler was disappointed that this year there were so many student that she had to share a room with a sophomore. Ever since freshman year Jenna had rivals with Betty to be the head queen of the school, but many students found her to be mean, and Betty could get alone with everyone, but Jenna had to respect Betty because she was older than her and they were close cousins.

            She climbed up the steps of the junior housing and kicked her door open. She dropped her bags on the floor and jumped on the bed of her choice. Katrina walked into the room with her sunglasses on and laughed when she saw her cousin Jenna laying face first on the bed.

“What are you—“

            Jenna was about to yell at Katrina but when she saw her she thought twice.

“Hello Katrina Zimmerman.” She tightly smiled.

“Hi Jenna… the s**t.” Katrina grinned and sat down on her bed. 

“Excuse me?” Jenna stood up with her hands on her hips.

“Did I stutter? Oh I forgot you’re kinda slow.” Katrina placed her Ipod on the nightstand. “Now let me say this slowly. Hello. Jenna. The. Ssssluuuut.” Katarina said very slow.

“Haha very funny, but don’t think you’re all cool because your sister can protect you.” Jenna glared at Katrina “Plus you will never live up to her legacy.”

“Well I rather have no legacy than yours.” Katarina laughed.

            Jenna cursed under her breathe and left the room. It was true what Katrina said Jenna was knowing with being with many boys, and the bad thing about most of them is that they couldn’t keep their mouths shut.

            Katrina locked the door and looked around the room. It was a simply and classily styled room with a large window over looking the field were many student crossed. Katrina had no magick experiences whatsoever, not even the basics. She had yet to have a god or goddess to go to, and she didn’t even know names of any.

            She remembered the school pamphlet saying that in about an hour the eastern air cathedral would be opened. That were Jenna was going so Katrina wasn’t going for sure. She could go to the northern earth cathedral but it was at midnight and Katrina loved her sleep. The sky was sapphire blue, fading lighter down still the yellow sun was the only layer of color left.

            Katrina grabbed her ipod and went to explore the grounds.

           

            Betty’s heels were making her feet sore, but she knew she would find relief in the eastern air cathedral. Students crowded in and squished together to make enough seats. For some reason air was more likeable to many students on campus. Betty was the only one of her friend who went to the eastern air cathedral, but more than half of seniors came to it. 

            Betty crossed her legs, one over the other, and sat silently looking up at goddess Aradia. Betty quietly mumbled a prayer and bowed her head. She prayed for the goddess to watch over her rebellious sister and to make sure she didn’t get in any trouble.

            Once Betty was done prayer she went outside to take a breather. At the school there were two forest surrounding them. On the west side was the Solstice forest where the Solstice pond was located, but on the east side of the school was an unnamed forest. The school grounds keepers and Dean warned all students to keep away from the forest, but sometimes Betty became so curious to know what was hidden deep inside the misty forest.

 

            Katrina removed her sunglasses because the sun had set and her vision was being blurry by the black glasses. A few yards away from campus Katrina could see the misty white forest beckoning to come closer. She took a few steps through the dewy grass when she heard a faint voice by her ear like the wind was whispering to her.

Do not draw closer. A feminine voice warned her.

            Katrina shook her head and hesitantly turned around, and took slow small steps back to the safety of the campus grounds.

Listen… come closer. Another voice teased her back towards the forest.

            Katrina couldn’t help but listen to the smooth calming voice to head back towards the forest. Her finger switched as she walked closer to the forest. She heard someone rapidly walking towards her in the moist grass.

Run away. The soothing voice told her.

            Running away was easy for Katrina because it was what she was good at and with her long legs she was faster than others. The foot steps kept up with her speed, but Katrina focused on the forest.

“Ahh!” Katrina screamed, slipping out of the trance as someone tackled to the floor.

            Katrina rubbed the dirt off her hands and looked around to see that she was barley inside the forest and the mist seemed to be wrapping around her legs. A guy next to her helped her up.

“What was that for?’ Katrina said angrily.

“You were heading for the forest, no one is suppose to go in there.” The guy said pulling her out of the forest.

“Jezze.” Katrina snatched her hand away from the guy’s grip “I can take care of myself.” Katrina put her head up and walked out of the forest by herself.

“What’s your name?” the guy asked her when the were in the middle of the school.

“Katrina Zimmerman, how ‘bout you?”

“Ethan Alexandrov.”

“Wait—you the dean’s son.” Katrina raised her eyebrow.

“Yeah, and you’re Betty’s sister.”

“I guess I am… so you’re new here too?”

“Yeah pretty much.”

            Katrina was about to talk again but she noticed that they were in front of the Junior housing.

“Well see you around.” Ethan waved and walked away.

“Wait!” Katrina ran over to Ethan “What is in the forest?”

Ethan shrugged “I don’t know, but it’s not friendly.”

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[facadeofshadows]

I really liked the conflict you started with by using Katrina's appearance as an immediate way to make her feel isolated. That isolated feeling is something every reader should be able to relate to, and that's a good thing!

You introduced us to a lot of characters and once, especially right at the beginning, without any background as to how Katrina knew them. As readers we don't know whether or not these characters are important.

If there is anything a good story needs, it is a love interest :). I'm assuming Ethan will fulfill a bit of that role (even if there is an unexpected twist - which I hope for).

The only thing I felt was missing was a bit of action. The forest part was leading up to that... and adds an bit of mystery to your whole plot (well done!), but I'm still not sure I'm caught up in the story. I guess I just would like a little more... substance. Katrina in a situation where she is isolated is great - but I need to know more, and you should give me more in your first chapter, so that I can't wait for her to figure out the rest!

There are a couple of grammar and spelling things you should be able to find rather quickly (is instead of its, and stuff like that). I hope you aren't finished posting this book! Get to the next chapter already! ;)

[Livana Lowell]

I loved how you opened up. I love the whole chapter. No part did I ever want to just skip because I often do that when reading long chapters, I love your characters; they're in depth and then at the end you have the tip of your plot. Hmmm, Makes me wonder what's in that forest myself, and yet in a way, I love how I can't exactly determine everything. Usually, I can already know how things are gonna be, but this one is pretty unque and I'd love to read more.

[Rachel Koepke]

i really liked it. ur a good writter