my breath

writing so many days later, nothing to say about it, it is alike my other writings

when i sleep, dream come

when i dream, you come 

but when you come in my memory 

i can't, i can't sleep

when clouds float, i see it

when it rain, i get wet

but i feel pain, because

i miss, miss your presence

when i close my eyes, i see you

when i open it, i want to see you

you are my breath, i can't stop it

so indeed i need you.

Author's Note

is it?

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Perhaps you think this is like your other writings but I suggest that they are all different. Unless the words are exactly alike, in exactly the same order then no; it is not the same as your other work. This is a purple-tinged logistic penrose - a diagram of the heart's desire expressed as a fundamental law of nature and an autonomic function of the spirit, "...you are my breath, i can't stop it so indeed i need you" The fruit falls from the tree and strikes the ground but never in the same place or the same way twice; yet always with a thud of absolute certainty that it has followed its nature. As you have here in this poem. A laurel for your effort de_maruf.

[de_maruf]

thanks for the fantastic analysis

[Dayran]

It illustrates the quality of desire very nicely. Where you can substitute ' need ' with ' am,' it makes it abundantly clear.

[de_maruf]

i couldn't get it..

[Dayran]

I think you might ... at a subconscious level.

[de_maruf]

might be...

[Francis Danger]

that really is powerful stuff

[quinfinn]

breathtakingly gorgeous write here, my friend!

[de_maruf]

really?

[scripted]

one word BEAUTIFUL...

[de_maruf]

thanks for the complement to the poem

[RachelReaper]

the first stanza of this was my favorite because it reminded me of a riddle and had a lot of play on the meaning of your words and the pattern you arranged them.

[de_maruf]

Thanks for read

[RachelReaper]

ur welcome :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem of love and desire. The special people never leave our thoughts. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[de_maruf]

thank you for the complement to the poem

[gombeggar]

nicely done...u speak of breath...seems yer subject matter just takes your breath away...so to answer yer question...it most certainly is

[de_maruf]

thanks