Marionette

For someone who you can tell is only telling you something because it's what someone else wants to hear

 

When I was young

I saw a show.

More special than

You’ll ever know.

 

The stage was big,

The lights were bright.

But I remember that

The least that night.

 

There was a man,

Who sat on stage,

Absent of life,

But showed no age.

 

When I saw the man

And start to wonder

The speakers blared

As loud as thunder.

 

From the speakers came a voice

Of a kind and friendly male.

What he said won’t ever leave,

I won’t forget his tale.

 

"Boys and girls 

Before the show,

There’s something I

Must let you know.

 

 

The man on stage,

He isn't real.

He doesn’t think.

He doesn’t feel.

 

 

He’s made of wood.

Moved by string.

Just a doll,

Just a thing.

 

 

It is a puppet,

Nothing more.

There’s no surprise

It has in store

 

 

There is a man,

Who pulls the string.

He can make it do

Just anything.

 

 

When he pulls the string,

The act is set.

The dolls now a man,

You’ve never met.

 

 

When left alone,

It becomes itself.

A lonely toy,

Shoved on a shelf.

 

 

The reason why I tell you this,

Is so that you do not yell.

So sit back and listen,

To this story I must tell.

 

 

There was a time, long ago,

This puppet came on stage.

It came and said such wicked things,

The crowd went in a rage.

 

 

These words did not come from the doll,

It was the man who did it.

He made it say all that he felt,

And from all nice things forbid it.

 

 

The people could not see,

The truth behind it all.

They got up from their seats,

And straight for the poor doll.

 

 

They took it in their anger,

Threw it straight across the room.

Headed straight for the wall.

Headed staright to its doom.

 

 

That is when I caught it,

Held it tight in my arms

I told the crowd off,

I won’t let them cause it harm.

 

 

I told them what they did,  

Told them of their big mistake. 

They walked away embarrassed, 

When they realized it was fake.

  

 

That is why I tell you,  

So try not to get mad. 

Remember as you listen, 

It’s not the doll who’s bad."

 

As the show went on,

And the doll moved and walked,

I remembered what he said,

As it visciously talked.

 

I felt bad for the doll,

As it put on it’s act.

For its true self was hidden,

And the soul that it lacked.

 

 

As the show ended,

It kept on in my head.

I will always remember,

The words that man said.

Author's Note

If you can, Critiqu me on the flow. I can't tell if it's good or not

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

David J Logan an Australian historian, drama and theatre teacher, director, puppeteer and playwright wrote;

"Marionettes are seen by many as the most complex form of puppetry perhaps due to the time it takes to make them and to learn how to effectively manipulate them."

The metaphoric link with your fascinating composition being the word 'manipulate'. How many puppets have been unmasked in government, civil service or other such agencies, blindly following the commands of the devious, but only becoming their scapegoats when things go wrong.

Brilliantly creative write!

God's Blessing
Phillozofee

[Mockingbird]

this was an excellent narrative poem. it reads like a short story and flows really well. it was quite moving; i also felt sorry for the poor puppet.

[qaralynn]

love the imagery!! great poem..love it

[Teela Bryant]

For the most part the flow was very nice. however there were a couple of places that I think could use some work.

They got up from their seats,
And straight for the poor doll.
- maybe say "and headed straight for the doll." it throws of the flow to have to go back and read it again just to make sure you read it right. and it doesn't make sense.

For its true self was hidden,
And the soul that it lacked. - there is something missing in this one. It doesn't flow or make sense to me.

that being said, i loved it.

[Mistral Bilgera]

This is an AMAZING narrative poem with a good flow, Alex!! you are really good!! quite long, but very very satisfying on the narrative level.

Ya know, the idea of the circus is an excellently creepy, clever metaphoric disguise for manipulation and false happiness, then you added the marionette thing... it's awesome!!

"That is why I tell you,
So try not to get mad.
Remember as you listen,
It's not the doll who's bad."

that's an epic right there!! you have the talent, and you'll go far, i believe!! :)

[Laylani Mullane]

I think it flowed very smoothly and the imagery was amazing. I loved the beginning, it pulled me in from the get go and I wasn't able to stop reading until the end. How sad that this is so metaphorical and mirrors many people, but you displayed it beautifully, very good job.

[Mastermind]

How sad, beautiful, and engaging, all wrapped up together. Yes I've seen those people, no more than shells, loudspeakers for the words of other, akin to your lovely little marionette. Great write, keep up the good work!

[Nina Love]

actaully, I found the flow increasingly interesting, and the last lines really got my attention.
great peice.

Blessed be.

-Nina Marie Knight.

[B. Lapinski]

i...myself am not one for a poem that rhymes. the attempt is valient, but...please take no offense. I mean no harm..(like I said I'm not one for rhyming), but ther should be more words. The flow is to quick. It forces the poem. It breaks it up....unintentionally. The poem lives off the strength you give it. let them flow.FLOW.FLOW FLOW.

[Jon]

I think this is really good stuff - and flow wise its great - even in a few places where it changes rhythm, it is done in a way that fits - nice original write - cheers for sharing ;)

[Natalia]

I like this poem a lot.
The poem flowed nicely from when you were telling something about the show
to when the man in the show was actually talking.
I liked how even though it was a poem, it also told a story at the same time.
This poem said a lot.
It made me think.
Very impressive and creative poem.
~Natalia