Archie

Your song I sing on a crisp clear morning

It shouts love is here it has a dawning

There is a road trip and lyrics that touch

You are the colours of the rainbow you are its arch

 

I hear you sing a fly on the windscreen

I know exactly where your minds been

Time slips away life takes its toll

Sometimes love leads to a fall

 

The years on a long winding road

Burdens to carry a heavy load

Your heart ripped with a shredding knife

Stripped and bleeding it took away your life

 

Still all I see is the promise in your eyes

Spirit on the wing you won’t die

Reviews

[Tarry Franck]

Oh I love this so. Great write.

[MOON]

Thank you Tarry , will stop by soon.

[JessyJacob]

I am just curious, the painting must be out of your hands, which shows your thoughts so beautifully. Is it?

[JessyJacob]

I lie all the lines above, the last two are really passionate, care, and base of the person, what she needs.
I like the beautiful pic, its amazing, from far, the ropes look metal thorns, but when I see near, and fel, those are light featheri thorns which softens you without hurting. But still I see the bloods drops, which are not from that, it is already bleeding, taking a lift and high, and flying.

Lines are simply sweet, with little depth, without wandering thoughts, reducing complexity. But people make it so comple to show their talent, but they doesnt know where to show that talent, instead of making the real intent what you are doing for, I do agree its little fun to confuse others, but sometimes it leads to complexity, where you take risk for it, we forgot the risk where it leads to. But that is naother where you get more for you got loose more.

[Diamond]

I understand that many of your writing talk about one specific loss, of a loved one. Trust, the hearts of many readers are moved with your loss/writings.

[Jimmy Yetts]

A tribute radiating mystical beauty.
Reading this piece, Moon, made me feel a lot like I was praying.
Truly mesmerizing, gifted poetess!

[MOON]

Thanks Jimmy , the loss of a friend is difficult.

[...]

I lost a dear friend two years ago this past June. The strangest thing happened the day before her birthday last year. A very small bird feather was resting on the deck and just as I noticed it, a gust of air, an exhale from the universe sent it into flight. I watched it float as far as I could see it go. It never touched the ground :)

[MOON]

Thanks Lynn, a visit of angels

[jacob erin-cilberto]

life does take its toll, but some just know how to be survivors and to help others to survive with them.

i really like your use of Slant Rhyme in this poem....works so well with the meaning.

we are always near extinction and just keep rhyming just enough to survive.

j.

[MOON]

Thank you most appreciated. Take care.

[Lydia Shutter]

A bittersweet love poem. Some people carry the world on their shoulders and the road is always just a bit too long. Heartaches are many and happy times too few. Those are the people, though, who always see the bright side. They are the fortunate ones. They know tomorrow will be a better day. So lovely. Lydi**

[MOON]

Many thanks Lydia go well.

[Sami Khalil]

So true. Life can take its toll and love can have its extols. Spirits on wings will soar and soar in the journey of winding years. An excellent one, Moon...:).....................

[MOON]

Thanks Sami , hope you well thanks for your kind words .

[Sami Khalil]

All is well. You are welcome...:)..................