Take Another Shot

A poem...

I don’t exist, my nights consist

Of walking like a ghost

-Empty and hollow

And this whiskey that I swallow

Uses it like a host

 

What I’m consuming

Only consumes me

And soon it will devour

All my power, and every ounce of strength

But I’ll go to every length

I’ll lie, I’ll cheat, I’ll steal

Anything to not feel,

What’s rotting me from within

I already made the devil’s deal

And I can’t make it again

 

Lights, sounds, an unfamiliar place

Blend amidst the rising mist

Of another unknown face

Clouding up her eyes

My head spins, I think again

If only I could rise

Before she woke, I’d leave a note

And not have to see her cry

 

Because every morning

When I see the newest face

And see a smile forming

Upon her lips, I can’t forget

The one who still had a grip

 -Upon my heart, and every part

Of my body begins to shake

I stand up, grab my cup

My ritual when I wake

 

Pretty soon, I’ll leave the room

And have broken another heart

At eight AM, I’m drunk again

And that’s just the start

 

My life spins within

-a haze, of drunken days

With whiskey and vicodin

Sex, pills, and cheap thrills

-late nights and cigarettes

With pretty girls who wish we never met

I once did pour a bottle down the drain

A cocktail straight from hell

I must have gone insane

With whiskey, ecstasy and vicodin

-I watched it start to spin

But I’ll tell the truth, why lie to you?

The drain was actually within

 

Did you truly think

I’d flush it down the sink?

I’m a mess, I will confess

I probably need a shrink.

 

But I know my problems,

I just never solve them

I’d rather block them out

With enough to drink, I won’t have to think

Or hear my conscience shout

 

How I hurt the world, or another girl

Because I can’t stop the pain

I feel inside, so to try and hide

That I’m really going insane

-And my brains about to rot

I take the pills, so not to feel

And swallow them with another shot

Author's Note

Another poem, just wrote it up. Let me know what you think ^^

Reviews

[Starfruitanimal]

powerful. couldnt have said it any better myself.

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you, its good to see all your reviews, it means a lot. Truly. ^^

[Somebrownnerd]

Very well written, loved the imagery in this; You give us a window into your life once again (after reading sixteen messages). You have a very unique style, which really lies in your writers voice, it moves my eyes a long; always wanting to read the next line. My favorite stanza would have to be:

"With whiskey, ecstasy and vicodin
-I watched it start to spin
But I’ll tell the truth, why lie to you?
The drain was actually within"

Very powerful part of your writing. Hope to read more from you!

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you, as always. You're the second person to cite that as their favorite stanza.

[JodieH]

I love the poem, really powerful

[PutTheBottleDown]

I really like this! It has a powerful message.

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

Whiskey, my favorite. Another great personal write of human suffering. Well done.

[eglantine]

"I don't exist" would be so much more powerful if it was its own line.

I just adore that first stanza, 'specially the whiskey bit.

Thanks for sharing :)

[b.platte]

This whole thing was so good. The first stanza really pulled me in and made me want to finish the whole thing.

What a good read.

I love how you can write about love in such a positive and lovely way and then spit something out like this right after it. Both are fantastic though and you are an amazing writer.

[MachinaWriter]

I think my loss is what made me value love so much. The wounds of my heart cut deep, allowing for more love to spill out.

[b.platte]

nice.

[Apatheia]

I absolutely love this. There are so many lines that I just want to quote and tell you I love. I like how it flows together so well. This is amazing.

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you, as always ^^

[Kelsey]

Knowing what I've been given the privilage of knowing about you, this is a great poem. Of course the circumstances are sad, but what's truly beautiful is knowing that you've overcome it.

[MachinaWriter]

I put up another poem just now that describes one of the darkest moments of my life. Maybe the darkest. Think of it as what happened right after my poem The Devil Wears Blue. If I had to put them in order, I'd say it started with The Devil Wears Blue, moved on to my new poem Sixteen Messages, then The Voice That Always Calls and later became this one, then the Motel Room and Half-life. It pretty much draws a line through my life.