A Poem by NyanMeow

I Can't Even Rhyme...

My heart is hurting
I can't even rhyme.

Did I misunderstand?
Did you stop caring?
Did you ever at all?

I'm so full of anger 
I can't even rhyme.

I wasted my time.
I wasted my hope.
I wasted my love.

The pain is too much
Why can't I rhyme?

If only you'd come back.
If only time could reverse.
If only...


then again...

Roses are red
violets are blue...
and so it seems, I'm through with you.

© 2011 NyanMeow

Author's Note

Sounds more like a break-up poem, but really about a broken friendship.

I'm not sure if my point got across right, you'd probably have to know me as a writer and kno I usually rhyme in my poems.

My Review

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This is a great poem Mandeline. You don't have to force things to rhyme to construct excellent poems. I think it should be more about the emotions and experiences that you are conveying to your reader. You demonstrate this so well. I didn't feel like it sounds like a break-up poem. I felt its more about a message of a broken friendship that you are really hurt by.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Personally, too many poets try to force things to rhyme, when they write, which leaves the readers with a very stilted verse to read. Mandeline, as you have proven, you don't need to rhyme, to have an expressive poem.

In many ways, a broken friendship is a break-up between two people, who once where were close. The pain, is the same just we give it a different title. Hoping in writing this verse, you are finding a constructive outlet for your pain and anger.

Posted 9 Years Ago

I think you do see that you are not rhyming, the repeated use of the word was a really good way of emphasing that. It felt a little angry and hurt, and now that i know its about a broken friendship it shows in your righting. The pain you feel at the loss of a friend is a big one, and one that only heals with time and understanding.

Posted 9 Years Ago

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3 Reviews
Added on February 9, 2011
Last Updated on February 9, 2011
Tags: anger, heartbreak, rhyming



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