Our Way

Written pre deletion day. November 2007. Not really a poem, just a barage of thoughts and words.

 

Our Way

 

How bleak is life below the sigh of a deepened breath,

Winters chains arrive ignoring season, raping the moment.

Grey skies blue never register shades of life passes by.

The mind is peppered; doubt paints a map but never a solution.

 

Building blocks to mourn see a corner of birthright protected,

Thoughts are cast down before an impenetrable wall.

See the dwellings of the soul unable to reach our lady hope,

Smile dear Grandfather clock, we wait the hours turn.

 

Reviews

[Zane Mathias]

this may be a rant but it is a good One. I really feel connected to it!!!!!!!!

[Dorothy]

I like this a lot! It may just be thoughts but I like how you put them together. They flow effortlessly. Very nice!

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, this one blew me away this early in the morning LOL. It seemed to be speaking of the-dreaded-writers- block. Man, it indeed sounds to be a horrible thing to ever have... and I feel deeply for any of its sufferers!

[Nick Erickson]

Your ramblings sound good to me. I like the end,

Smile dear Grandfather clock, we wait the hours turn.

I also like the description of winter. That is a very good rendering of the season.

Winters chains arrive ignoring season, raping the moment.

Great ramblings.

[rachel D]

i like to read the ramblings though. i have been struggling with the writing too as of late. plus i've been on overload with work that i can't spit anything out.
that first paragraph i totally got and loved.
the second, not as much, it was a bit more cryptic, but that DOESN"T mean it isn't good.
like you said, it's a ramble from a speckled mind.
i love when people are open and willing to share stuff like this
so thank you!

[Damien Dsoul]

It's tone and message is quite enchanting, and yet subtly bleak. To me it speaks of time passing like water under a bridge, where we're just so powerless to stop or do much of anything about.