Father of Lights

Father of Lights

A Poem by Mary Helda
"

I just wanted to praise Him with a little piece

"
The morning sun glowed with pride
Leaving glossy kisses across the mountains
Its splendour singing songs
Songs of praise
Songs of worship

Honeycomb-yellow beams
Splashed onto the ocean
The waves greeted them with passion
Majestically rising up to sway
And dance for the Lord

And nature fellowshiped
To show forthe his beauty-
To show forthe his glory-

How can i be left behind?
When trees are humbled by His grace…
How can i ignore your presence?
When the stars flaunt your beauty…

I will speak of your goodness
I will speak of your greatness
I will speak of you endless love
I will speak of your undeserving love

You alone are;
Alpha and Omega
Everlasting God
Father of lights...
You, Oh Lord deserve all glory

© 2016 Mary Helda


Author's Note

Mary Helda
I believe nature's beauty is its way of praising God and showing us His goodness

My Review

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Featured Review

Beautiful poem Mary, showing how nature is consistent and true in its gratitude and appreciation of our wonderful Creator and God. Your words are a great teaching tool that begs of humility and awe to our Father. I need to reflect more towards Him and let go of the clutter and distractions of daily life. Thank you for the beautiful reminder of where my focus needs to be.
Many Blessings,
Richie B.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary Helda

7 Years Ago

thank you so much my friend. i apologize for the late reply



Reviews

Beautiful poem Mary, showing how nature is consistent and true in its gratitude and appreciation of our wonderful Creator and God. Your words are a great teaching tool that begs of humility and awe to our Father. I need to reflect more towards Him and let go of the clutter and distractions of daily life. Thank you for the beautiful reminder of where my focus needs to be.
Many Blessings,
Richie B.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary Helda

7 Years Ago

thank you so much my friend. i apologize for the late reply
Amen is all I can say after reading such a dear wonderful passionate write. And to the glory to the most high we give for such the gifts to write such beauty.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary Helda

8 Years Ago

Glory to Him indeed...thank you so much:-)
??????

8 Years Ago

Your very welcome
I love this poem. It is simple, yet it speaks such truth. I love the way that you are able to praise God not only through your appreciation for His creation, but also through the beautiful talent of writing that He has given you. Wonderfully done!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary Helda

8 Years Ago

Thank you darling for your kind words
Hi Mary… What a beautifully written expressive poem… It is always good to give glory to your creator no matter what your beliefs. The only problem you are still having is technical. You are already a fabulous writer, but once you get the tech down, you will be unbelievably good. I love your passion, and your descriptions are so crisp and clear that they jump off the page at you. I have critiqued your poem below and made some minor adjustments and suggestions. Anthony H Wolf_Lord ,’’, ^@@^ ,’’,

The morning sun glowed with pride
Leaving glossy kisses across the mountains
Its (splendor) singing songs
Songs of praise
Songs of worship (Emotionally Evocative… good job)

Honeycomb-yellow beams
Splashed onto the ocean
The waves greeted them with passion
Majestically rising up to sway
And dance for the Lord (Excellent descriptive imagery and mix of emotional addition)

And nature (fellowshipped) (And yes it is a word…lol)
To show (forth) his beauty-
To show (forth) his glory-
(2 things to consider here. One: in a poem sometime repeating a phrase can be considered by an editor to be lazy. I am not an editor though I might suggest that you change the wording of the second line. For instance.
To show forth his beauty
To forward his glory

(Two: Your poem has a continuity the first two stanzas and the last two both ending in five lines. When you break the pattern it breaks the reader’s train of thought causing them to adjust. That is unless you alternate like 3-5 3-5 but breaking the pattern is done at the authors own risk. You might consider adding two line to the above part and one line to the two stanzas below.)

How can i be left behind?
When trees are humbled by His grace…
How can i ignore your presence?
When the stars flaunt your beauty… (Again, beautifully evocative… well done.

I will speak of your goodness
I will speak of your greatness
I will speak of you endless love
I will speak of your undeserving love (In this context (undeserving) is placed in the wrong place.) (The way it is placed might make the reader think you are saying he is undeserving of love. And again, use your synonym key if you have word to keep from repetition. Or even use a completely different spin such as
I will speak of your goodness
I will witness of your greatness
I will show them your endless love
Of which they are not undeserving

You alone are;
Alpha and Omega
Everlasting God
Father of lights...
You, Oh Lord deserve all glory
(Perfect finish… If you were doing parallel bars, I would say you stuck the landing. lol. This is impressive Mary and keep up the good work.) Wolf_Lord ,’’, ^@@^ ,’’,


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary Helda

8 Years Ago

Honestly,words can't express how grateful I am for such a fantastic and helpful review...thank you f.. read more
Wolf_Lord

8 Years Ago

I believe that when we help another, we help ourselves... to receive is to be humble.. To give divin.. read more
Mary Helda

8 Years Ago

i am still glad that you spared your time to teach me and help me improve. thank you once again Wolf.. read more
Mary I don't share your faith but I think this reads very well. Would you mind if I did my normal thing and pointed out some things that need correcting
... fellowshiped sounds very odd; is it even a word, but I guess poets can make words; may I suggest 2 p's
... forthe should be forth
... you endless love should presumably be your

Loved 'glossy kisses' and 'honeycomb-yellow beams'. Really strong impressions!

Regards
Nigel

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary Helda

8 Years Ago

Thank you.....I really appreciate your help..of course I will make the necessary changes:-)
That's true, Mary. You genuinely show your relentless faith towards God. Not others can be as devoted and as passionate as you. Thanks a lot for sharing this wonderful and inspiring poem. Thanks you! :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary Helda

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much my dear:-)
TheMalady

8 Years Ago

You're very welcome! :)
I admire how faithful you are. To be honest, I'm not really a faithful, but it just depends on personal preference, I guess. Anyways, I love the metaphores in this piece. Sorry for the late response, I've had lots of things that had to be done as of lately. So, in short, a great piece, Mary, keep writing, that's one thing you're really good at :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary Helda

8 Years Ago

Its okay,thank you so much:-)
Mister T.

8 Years Ago

You're welcome :)
Yes, I think Nature praises God. Your poem is a wonderful way to praise God too. Well written.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary Helda

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much,I appreciate it:-)
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mou
Your words are so strong that it create a visualization all across..very nice poem ..

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary Helda

8 Years Ago

Thank you my dear:-)
Sounds like a beautiful day to me. When nature shines, we can only watch and wonder at it's majesty.
Nicely captured.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary Helda

8 Years Ago

Thank you dear poet

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Added on February 7, 2016
Last Updated on February 7, 2016

Author

Mary Helda
Mary Helda

Kampala, Christian, Uganda



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