My History

This poem was written due to the fact I am unable to open up to people. So, I thought I'd put some of my past up so as to open up generally and get a huge burden off my chest. It's kinda crappy.

I grew up in a country in the middle of a war

Fighting and death, blood and gore

Is all that was around me growing up

I remember trying my hardest to prevent throwing up

Images still haunt me as they did before

The place was my home, but not anymore

Immigrated to Australia, at the age of 4

Went back to my country, at the age of 7

I remember seeing my cousin shot, and on his way to heaven

So much blood, the bullet holes so messy

Burnt flesh resonating deep within my mind 

Wound warm to the touch was all I could find

The only thing to register, was shock

As the man who had his gun cocked, pointed it at me

Took pity on me, a 7 year old boy was all he could see

Told me to go home, and forget what I wanted to be

I wouldn't live to see tomorrow, he said we would all bleed

Muslims attacked us from the west

Others from the east, in a war for survival for whom was best

For years it was the same, my dad joined the military

To protect me from enemy artillery, slit every enemy artery

To protect me and his family

I remember seeing blood on his jacket

I was scared day in and out, thought every day would be his last

I thought an enemy would place a gun to his head, and let it blast

But as I grew older, that all became the past

and I met a long lost cousin of mine, who grew up away from the fight

I never met a city girl, she acted to proper and right

Taught me to smoke, after I saw her doing it through a crack

in the wall, and she took my hand and took me back

Demanded I do the same, and as I did she told me ' welcome to my game '

She said I couldn't tell anyone 'cause she'd dob me in too

She was young, and already so cruel

Older than me, I have seen horrors but all I wanted was good

Struggling every day on the street to make money for food

Wanted to make sure my family was well cared for

Wanted to make sure they were tended to

and fended for

My cousin was smoking and took me in the dark basement

Proceeded to touch me as I was filled with resentment

I had no idea what was going on, but I knew it was wrong

She overpowered me, and locked my hands in her grip for not too long

She touched me, kissed me, told me she loved me

I told her I lost one family member, I don't want to lose another

and if she did it again, I would tell on her mother

She threatened to tell mine that I smoke

and that is when I broke, and I was powerless

The mind of a 10 year old, shattered and hopeless

For a year she proceeded to do as she wanted

Then a gift came to me as a chances to escape from this place

Even though it was my home, I wanted to leave like I was in a race

Came back to Australia, as a kid empty and friendless

Bullied and picked on for being an immigrant

My will to survive was coming to an end almost imminent

Depression took over my life, everyone said it was prominent

The more I was bullied, the more the images came back

And when they came back, I just snapped

My cousin that died, was always there to protect me

I was so sad, I never got to say thank you...

My life has been hell, but still I fight

I have got up and fell, but I will keep doing so until I no longer fail

I wont ever give up, I wont ever back down

You were there for me, I will be strong for you

I have done wrong by you... but I hope you understand

I hope you will forgive, for you were always kind

Since the day I lost you, I haven't been right in my mind.

Reviews

[magicwhisper]

wow i love it