"They are buildings, you are birds."

Somewhere, sometime
you have to grow up. You
must show the world
your arm outstretching.

If you dare refuse, a large
angry man will force you,
make you his gossoon
without your permission.

There is no oak palanquin
filled with orchids for you
to ride in; I will at least
save you that heartache.

But there is a Pax Romana
available to you, and you
should take it--many rawky
nightcrawlers to snack on.

Reviews

[Circe]

ahhh, i need to use google to read your full poem.. for words like gossoon, palanquin and rawky.... this really moved me... like life lessons in a succinct telling, without much fluff but a very gentle push... it's so easy to just read this over again and again and appreciate it even more.... it has staying power to become words that will help me make it through another day... this is brilliant poetry, thank you.

[Emily B]

i'm pleased to meet you, and so many other fascinating people who are new to me this evening

i look forward to reading more of your work in the future

[Tree]

Max I enjoyed your play on words. There was some wisdom to be taken from this, humorous and slightly philosophical piece:)

[M Breen]

Yes sir, I concur, it's good advice not to be the gossoon of 'a large angry man'. Another well written, interesting and witty work. A hopeful poem with an original dark hood. The word 'you' is used a lot in this relatively short work, like in the 3rd last line, but I don't know how to improve that.

[Max Teal]

I appreciate these candid critiques.

[M Breen]

By the way, I should have said feel free to use 'you' as you wish here. The flow is totally fine. read moreBy the way, I should have said feel free to use 'you' as you wish here. The flow is totally fine.
Can be just me. I use 'you' a lot and always wonder about substitutes.