Chapter 1

  I feel a rough hand slap my face and I awake suddenly. "Get the f**k up," a deep voice says. I notice that the voice doesn't sound anything like Jason's, but I obey anyways and stand up.

  The room is pitching black so I can't make out the figure.

  "What's your name?" the strange person asks.

  I stay silent and remember Jason's rule: Never tell anyone who you really are.

  "F*****g tell me," the person demands.

  "Tylene," I say. It feels so weird saying the name I haven't said in such a long time. It bounces off my lips and makes my brain go fuzzy and blank.

  The hand of the person grabs mine and says, "Come now".

  I let the person drag me out of the backyard, with a sick and pleasant feeling forming in my stomach. I'm free. This is the end.

 

  The strange person pushes me into the back of a van and removes the gas mask the stranger was wearing, that I noticed when the stranger took me outside. I see the stranger's face and I realize that it's a she. Her hair is cut short like a boy’s and it’s blond.

  "Where are you taking me?" I ask as she puts the keys in the ignition and drives off quickly.

  "Away from this s**t hole," she replies. I look out the window at the world I haven't seen in so long. I feel weird and I think to myself that this is a crazy dream and that I will wake up.

  "What’s your name?" I ask.

  "Nate," she replies.

  "That's a boy name," I say back.

  "I'm a boy."

  This confuses me. This stranger-Nate-doesn't look like a boy at all.

  "But you're a girl," I told her.

  She laughs and takes a sharp turn. I lean over to the left side of the car and put my seat belt on. "You have a lot to learn, Tylene."

  I decided not to ask what she meant by that. I stare out the window at the trees and grass and that's when I ask, "are you taking me home?”

  She falls silent for a second and I worry she's mad. "I don't know where to take you yet," she says. "And call me Natalie. You know, since Nate is a boy's name and all."

  "Alright, Natalie," I say to her. "Why did you take me away?"

  "You needed to get away from there," she tells me. "I know what they were doing to you."

  I stare at the back of her head. "What do you mean?"

  "The torture, the abuse...I know all of it," Natalie says.

  "How?" I ask.

  "I was like you once. They stole my childhood too," she says. "I never got it back."

  "Then why don't you take me home?" I ask. "I miss my Mom and my fam-"

  "I know!" she interrupts. I fall silent. "Tylene?"

  "Yes?" I ask.

  "Your family is dead."

  I stared at the trees and the grass and the sky. I watched them go by, and they watched me.

Author's Note

thank you for any reviews c:

Reviews

[paradise]

loving this cant wait to read more

[trippy kitty]

Okay, the reviews below me can screw off, this was great to me. I didn't see a lot of grammar mistakes.
I liked reading this and I look forward to more.

[futurepast.]

It was a deep mysterious story and you've drawn me in since the start. But there's one thing that bugs me though .. Why did you use "he/she"? Haven't Tylene heard the voice of the person when she was asking her name? She could have figured out it was a 'she' ... However, great story line, I would love to read more. Good job.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was a good start so far. The ending I felt really bad for gher. Losing family is always hard. Good start. Can't wait to move on. Thanks for sharing.

[Silvario]

an enjoyable read. i liked the pace of it and its intensity with the "bomb drop" at the end to set us up for wanting to read on. very cleverly done :)

a couple things, and bear in mind this is just my humble opinion.. the he/she's could perhaps be replaced with a neutral descriptor to help add a touch of flavor there.
also, i found myself really curious about the main characters age. slipping that information in, even subtly, and especially considering the events, would have left me with a clearer "view" of how ellinore is feeling.

but, that said, i really enjoyed this read and your rather direct style of writing

well done indeed :)

[TWISTED NIGHTMARE]

this was an awesome start...can't wait for more

[halflives]

This was awesome. There's a lot of grammar mistakes which need fixing, but overall well done. I liked it a lot. Well done!

[Julie Beth]

this was an amazing start, i so want to read more i can't wait :)

[idk]

Amazing!! This is exactly what I was hoping for. Can'tt wait for more