One

 

“Love,” You breathed against my ear. “Wake up, love.”

I stretched in your arms, and sighed deeply, but I kept my eyes shut tight. One of your arms was pinned underneath me, the other was gently shaking my shoulder.

“No.” I breathed, squirming closer to you. You chuckled, snaking your free arm around me. You pulled me closer, nuzzling your face into my back. I could feel your warm body against mine, your chest against my back. Your fingertips danced across my chest.

“Mmm, I suppose we could stay like this a little longer.” You pressed gentle kisses between my shoulder blades, making me squirm against you. I interlocked my fingers with yours, and brought your hand up to my lips, kissing it. Your free hand explored my body. Your fingertips danced across my pelvic bone, then up my chest. I shivered against you, and released a sigh.

“I’m going to miss this.” You murmured, pressing your forehead to my neck. I tightened my grip on your hand.

“Don’t.” It was a barely audible whisper. It would be so much easier if we just pretended that you weren’t leaving today. I didn’t even want to think about it. I just wanted to stay like this.

Your fingers released mine, and you began to pull away from me. You placed a hand on my shoulder, and pushed me onto my back. You climbed on top of me, straddling me. Palms down you placed your hands on both sides of my head and leaned over me. Your cool hazel eyes locked with mine.

“Tell me you’ll miss me too.” You murmured. I moved my hands to your legs, resting them on the hem of your boxers. I broke our stare.

“Of course. Of course I’m going to miss you.” I said quietly, playing with the edge of the fabric with my fingers. My eyes filled, but I blinked the tears back. You sighed deeply. Your hands moved from beside me, to rest on my chest as you sat upright on me.

“It’s horrible how badly I wanted to hear that.” You said, looking down at me again. You were biting your lip. Your hand gently brushed my cheek.

“How could you think for a second that I wouldn’t miss you? I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.” I said, catching your hand in mine, and kissing it again. I normally didn’t act like this. I couldn’t verbalize my feelings for you. I didn’t understand them. But as I held your hand to mine and rubbed your thigh slowly…I think I may have been- I pushed those thoughts away. It didn’t matter. I didn’t have to name my feelings or put them in a category. Not with you.

“I just wanted to hear you say it again.” You said, smiling at me. You glanced at the clock and groaned. “I have to get dressed.”

You sighed and climbed off me. I sat up and wrapped my arms around my legs and watched you. You knelt down and grabbed some clothes from the bottom drawer of my dresser. You grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on before turning to me.

“Hey, don’t stare.” You chuckled, tossing your shirt at me. I took it between my fingers, playing with the soft fabric. I looked up at you again, watching as you looped your belt through your jeans. You stretched, the muscles in your chest flexing. You ran your fingers through your thick, bright red hair.

“What?” You asked, smiling at me. Had I been staring again? I shook my head, tossing you your shirt back to you. You caught it and pulled it on, flattening your hair. You looked up at it and rolled your eyes animatedly. You sauntered over to me and sat across from me on the bed.

“Fix it for me, baby.” You pouted, nuzzling into my neck. I giggled, as you placed soft kisses along my collar. I began playing with your hair, rubbing your scalp. You moaned quietly and rested your forehead against my shoulder.

“Look at me.” I murmured. You lifted your head off and stared at me. I fixed your hair, so that it was sticking up the way you liked it.

“You look hansom, as always.” I said, letting my hands fall to your cheeks. You blushed, and took my face in your hands.

“I love you Ri. So, so much.” You murmured, leaning closer to me.

“I love you too, Sebastian.” You leaned in closer still, and our breath mingled. Our eyes closed. Then, we heard an alarm clock, and bolted apart. Our parents would be getting up soon.  You smiled awkwardly at me.

“I should go put my bags by the door, and get some breakfast. Do you want to come?” You rose from the bed and started walking towards the door.  I wanted to go with you, but if Mom and Dad saw that we were up together, they’d think that we slept together. We did, but if they found out it would only make things worse. I shook my head.

“Okay babe. I’ll say goodbye before I go.” You shot me a half smile, then left, closing the door behind you.

I relaxed back onto the bed. It smelled like you. I hugged your pillow to my chest and tried to think about things other than you.

My chest felt tight.

You were leaving today.

My eyes filled.

I wouldn’t see you for at least four months. I would be alone with Dad, and Mom and their god awful questions and accusations.

And I let the tears fall. I choked out sob after sob. I felt like my chest was constricted, my head was screaming. You couldn’t leave me. You couldn’t leave me alone with them. Please.

Outside I could hear Mom and Dad stomping around, getting things ready for you to leave. Hannah was outside complaining about how I wasn’t helping get things ready. I gripped your pillow harder.

There was going to be nothing left of you. Most of your room had already been shipped away. And even if it hadn’t, there would be no way they’d allow me to stay in it. It didn’t matter.  The last of your things were leaving with you today.

I had no one.

The noises outside my door quieted. Maybe you were already gone. Maybe they hadn’t let you say goodbye. Maybe that was easier.

“Hurry up!” I heard Mom shout from downstairs. I lifted my head, hopeful. Maybe you were still here. My door opened.

“Hey, I can’t stay long, I just wanted to- Oh, baby.” And I was running towards you. You wrapped your arms around me, tighter than ever before. I cried into you. You pressed firm kisses to the top of my head.

“Don’t cry, Riley. Please. I’ll be back before you ever know that I’m gone.” You said, rubbing my back. You were lying. It wouldn’t matter, things wouldn’t be the same, and we both knew it. Mom would put you in a cot in the basement when you came back, and I’d be up on the third floor. It would be two years before I would graduate, before I could move in with you. Two years. Who knows how much would change in two years. Would you feel the same? Would I feel the same? How did I feel? I didn’t even know. We were just close, that’s all.

“Hurry up Sebastian!” Mom shouted again. You released me, shaking your head.

“I told Mom I forgot a sweater up here.” You explained, looking down at the floor. You reached down and picked up one of mine.

“Can I have this?” You asked. Your free hand found mine. I nodded, rubbing my tears away. I had calmed down a little. You smiled again, a sad smile, looking to the ground. You took a deep, shaky breath.

You hand gently cupped my cheek. You brought your face towards mine and pressed your forehead to mine. Your eyes were closed. You took a deep breath.

You lips pressed gently right beside mine, not touching. You held my face tighter, and moved your lips sideways next to my ear, kissing me again.

“I love you.” You murmured fiercely. You looked at me, your eyes staring into mine. “And I will always come back for you.”

And then you let go. Your hand dropped from my face, and you moved away from me.

 

“Goodbye Riley.”

 

The worst thing in the world is replaying a sad song over and over again in your head. The words get embedded within your brain, never leaving. The sad melody repeats. And repeats. And the entire time you feel the water behind your eyes threatening to spill over the dam you worked so hard to build and hold steady. And the worst part is, it doesn’t leave. The song stays there. Until Father Time grasps it and slowly tugs it away. And even then it’s not forgotten. It’s just pushed to the wayside.

 

This is kind of like that. Only, Father Time hasn’t shown up yet.

Reviews

[K.]

I reaaalllllyyyyy enjoyed reading this! eek! I loved the imagery and I'm a sucker for romance stories. The only thing that got a little confusing for me was how you addressed Sebastian as "you". It made it more difficult to read and I'm just concerned on how the character will evolve this way. It may be only because it was a flashback sort of thing as you said, but I'm just trying to help. And secondly, what is the relationship between Sebastian and Riley? I think I got brother and sister (right?), and are they like, romantically involved or just really close?

But it was really wonderful! I'm looking forward to reading more!

[Megan]

Hey there! Sorry for the (very) late response. I have been on vacation, and my internet has been in and out. Thank you for the review. Thanks for the tip about the perspective, I will go back and edit that when my computer allows me on for more than a couple minutes at a time. :) Sebastian and Riley are brothers, and their relationship will evolve throughout the story. :)
Thanks again!