The Moment

 

Worrying about the past and trying to turn back the clock,

is like trying to put a key in a combination lock.

Fretting over the future, over what tomorrow might bring,

is like mouthing all of the words when you really want to sing.

Living in the present day, the moment is all that matters.

Accepting All as part of you, all your lonliness scatters.

 

M.J.S.

Reviews

[*~Poetic_Essence~*]

Now you caught me from the beginning of this one but the middle is where i felt it..
"Fretting over the future,
over what tomorrow might bring,
is like mouthing all of the words
when you really want to sing."

[Doug]

i did like the poem and the rhyme, but did you mean 'excepting'. it may have been what you wanted, but i believe that except means something like "the boy likes everything except cherry." i figured you intended the last line to be 'Accepting all...'

i thought you would mean that you want them to be a part of you so you welcome them. please let me know if i am wrong. i might even be wrong about the word usage. very sorry if i am. im not perfect. either way, please let me know.

nice write. thank you for posting it.

-doug-

[Not Afraid of Bruises]

The flow in this poem is a little choppy, my head keeps wanting to run right through the comma in the second line. The same in most of the other lines. Were you going for any poem format? I could be wrong, but the last lines sound like a couplet. I really liked what you have done, but I think that if you played with the formatting of the poem - not with the words or the punctuation necessarily, you could make it sound and look very modern while still obeying all formal rules of rhyming poetry. But it's all up to you, so best of luck and keep writing :)

[DiamondNRough AKA Patty..]

Very well said and excellent message with great rhyming.

[Nicholas Hallows]

I like this one a lot. It is a good message and something I have been trying hard to do lately : Living in the present day/the moment is all that matters/Excepting All as part of you