Conversation

Some thoughts I recorded after researching a bit regarding "twin flames".

10/05/13

 

Feeling so sad and alone today, it's like I could hardly breathe. Today it's just hurt to exist. I miss passion. And then I had to deal with a crazy customer for over 2 hrs at work, which was just like some sort of vengeful icing.

 

It's just that...Idk how I am just now finding this. It explains...everything. And it has saddened me. Because when G becomes...distant now, I feel it now more than ever. And it is frustrating too beyond compare.

 

It makes me feel insane.

 

Like, less, because I CANNOT BE JUST HER FRIEND. Because I know what I know and LIVE what I know. Because I HAVE dealt with my issues, past and present. All lives. I am ready Freddie.

 

Insane, because my ego tries to tell me it's me: I am like my mother. I haven't done enough. I've done too much. I expect too much. I am unaccepting. I am bad. I am unworthy. I am undesirable. I am wrong for wanting anything.

 

Like, okay, she gets her little energy boost she needs to make it through whatever at the time, then walls up.

 

Idk how she couldn't have a clue

I know the stream is 2-way

block/block/block

I just flow/flow/flow

to hit a dam/dam/dam

then I have to block/block/block

And it's not anything she's done, or not done. I just...feel it.

 

I have a Light Path Mission.

That mission is to bring love and acceptance.

To people of differences.

 

Particularly to gay people. Because spirit is spirit.

 

And G and I together would/could/be such a light of acceptance and success and beauty. Such a light that so long as she is being open and letting things flow, we don't even have to be together or wanting that for others to see it on me as a literal light.

 

I am like a bulb who beacons her, but she never comes home. I can see her on the horizon, and get so excited. Here she comes, she's finally coming home! And then instead she just gets smaller and smaller again until I can no longer see her.

And I'm like ???

Did I not shine bright enough?

 

 

Author's Note

http://www.soulevolution.org/twinflames/twinflames.htm