My Experience Attracted to Borderlines

Trying to understand as to stop repeating.

01/22/14

There was the one who wanted to control, the one who wanted to be controlled, the mother, the fighter, the lover, the child, the educator, the club go-er, the vampire, the witch, the friend...all which may be somewhat normal as moods in one person with a filter. Only she has little to no filter, and rather than moods, it was as if at least a dozen individuals resided within her. If one slept, another would awake. There was rarely rest. At times she'd even slip off into a southern accent, changing her vocal patterns, which added yet another persona to the mix. When asked about it, she seemed to "know I do that sometimes", but obviously did not like it being pointed out or being questioned about it.

Within a week's time, knowing I have a "prince nature", she'd force it: standing back tapping her foot with her hands behind her back practically whistling for me to open the door for her when we went out to eat with her daughter. Etc.

To even think about it all drains me.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't know how it is this has been the sort of human being to attract me, that I've been attracted to. This was not my first go-round, though it was, I feel, the most intense and the quickest in the sense I had the experience with which to recognize within only a couple weeks and do what I could to extricate myself from the matter.

I am at odds as to what to do in order to not ever let this be the case again. People say don't move so quickly, but it doesn't matter. There was one before who I talked with for 10 months before making a move, and she turned out the same.

I have felt cursed, and am currently feeling burned and hulled out, without desire. Which is fine. My thing is, when desire comes again, I just wish I knew a way for it to be more..."normal".

Any clues?