A Halcyon Bore

Existential concession.

Ptolemy's system, the geocentric model  
of the universe had no regard for  
the egocentric body at its mired middle.  
I lay on an abysmal body, a placid lake, 
amongst the pantheon of stars;  
I've my own myth, synonymous with Trevor.  
It's propounded by kin and kind around a sun,  
some perceptible distance away,  
as they indulge in marshmallows and smores.  
My stomach's gravity beckons me to shore.  
What's heliocentric is a halcyon bore.

Reviews

[Pete Langley]

As an exercise in articulacy, I can`t criticise this piece ....and it has a self-mocking wit about it I enjoy, but as a piece of poetry I think it lacks cohesion. I think part of it is the capitalisation of each line. P.

[Rogue]

To be someone other than who we are.. Would we find the same set of problems, or a new set? Periods of stagnation come and go in any life. Even the ocean experiences true flat calm on occasion. I think perhaps it is our lot in life to never quite reach absolute fulfillment in all that we do. For if we did, we would stop striving to better ourselves as human beings and just flat line.

Very thought provoking write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think no matter what life we live, we always yearn for another...and often live outside ourselves in order not to be bored with what life we are born to.

blue skies are beautiful and peaceful, but even that gets old after awhile and we need some stormy weather as contrast.

do like those smores though.

nice writing.

i like your voice, my only criticism, though slight, is that sometimes the words (although you have a great vocabulary) feel a little forced...and i would like to see a more natural feel to the poem...as if it flowed out rather than being pushed out a bit too hard in spots.

but that's me...and may get much disagreement to that comment.

[Trevor Bushey]

By our natures we are disposed to do more than want another to complement our capacity to see, to know, et cetera. Yet they're never really complementary.

But you're right about the blue skies.

I receive criticisms as such daily, and am not sensitive to hearing it. I don't imbue my poems and speech with lofty language to be haughty nor to condescend. My choice of diction is a deliberate process; I might compromise the reader's relatability, the piece's intelligibility by employing the words I do in the manner and tone they're written in, I've acknowledged that, but I've developed my voice to reflect my growth in character, and it's been a very conscious process. And at the same time I apprehend a sentiment of self-defense. My verbose vocabulary is a facade. I've acknowledged this, too.

[Trevor Bushey]

Shrewd perception, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks, Trevor...

[KAOlmsted]

I love how you refer to the earth in this piece as the "egocentric body at its mired middle". Setting aside the very loose interpretation of the word "mired" in this instance, I think it's a clever line.

I found a blog a couple months ago called Trevor's Myth ;-) Just saying...

The title of this piece intrigues me. Are we talking the drug? Do the effects of the drug cause boredom? Are we talking halcyon days, which may not cause most people boredom but they do you? I'm fascinated by the entire write...but the title really makes me sit back and think a bit, which I love.

Thank you for posting such an interesting piece. I will be certain to keep you in my radar ;-) I am enjoying your voice so far. I look forward to reading more.

-kimmer

[Trevor Bushey]

The egocentric body is analogous to my existence; I submit the notion that I am the "mired middle". I should have used the word "anthropocentric" to denote exactly what I was expressing. The word "ego" has so much more substance than "anthropos", in spite of the fact that the latter connotes the human species in general. If I were a pedant, I would have substituted the word, but pedantry is not always admissible in a poem.

The blog you mentioned might attest to what I've posited above, no? ;)

I'd be delighted if you were to opine on any piece of mine. I'll be sure to requite the gesture. :)

Trevor

[Trevor Bushey]

Thanks for the generous rating, by the way!

[KAOlmsted]

I was just reading your response to what jacob ( a friend of mine) had to say and I couldn't help noticing you ended a rather lofty thought with a preposition ;-) Verbosity is only effective when one knows in which order to place those glorious words *laugh* At any rate, I tease, of course...the affectation works for me...my natural love for the written word is in full bloom when I read you, so...keep up the facade. I, for one, love it.

I am always pedantic. Not afraid to admit it, either ;-)

I was hoping you would confirm my suspicions ;-) Thank you.

It is my absolute pleasure, as stated so eloquently above, if I do say so myself *laugh* to read your work. While we don't share the same poetic style, I do enjoy your offerings, and I appreciate your sharing them with us. As for the rating, you earned it.