Some women

8th March is International Womens Day, and after a sarcastic comment to my girlfriend about there not being a day specifically for men I tossed off a little ditty.

Some women look like porn stars;

some women look like sex;

some women look like drag-queens,

their fundamentals wrecked.

 

But you, my love, are precious,

above them all in time;

and I, my love,

am vicious, rambling incoherent rhyme.

 

Some women, they choose tyrants,

some women, they choose kings,

some women choose to burn in fire

chasing shiny things.

 

Some women live for pleasure;

some women live to please;

some women are a treasure;

some women, a disease.

 

But you, my sweet , are precious,

above them all in time,

and I think I felt the breath of God

when my heart knew you were mine.

 

Some women could kill for riches,

and tumble far from grace;

you can tell some are b*****s

just by looking at thier face.

 

But you, my dear, are precious,

above them all in time,

and my memory sweetly etches

our perfection like a crime.

 

Author's Note

rough, typed as written without change.

Reviews

[Travis Lawrence]

I can relate to this so well. The precious ones are tough to find, and fate sometimes buries them deep into our memories, and then the rest just don't seem to measure up, because we latch onto the grave (that is, if this is a dead or non-existent relationship, which is how I interpret it, as you use the past tense when referring to her in the sentance "my heart knew you were mine")

Favorite lines:

"some women look like drag-queens,
their fundamentals wrecked."

and...

"you can tell some are b*****s
just by looking at thier face."

I've think the same things. It's the down-to-earth look and attitude that I admire.

Have a nice day!

[thecoolone52]

yeah i can relate to that... you know what they say... "b*****s aint s**t but hoes and tricks" hahahaha expect for a few... anyway nice write!!!

[April Child]

and I think I felt the breath of God
when my heart knew you were mine

this is lovely. The poem is fun and touching and true but these lines pack a punch.
Hope she liked it :)