A Night Out and the Comeback Kid

 

Today was the shittiest start to a day I’ve had in a long time.

 

Woke up at 3am to a house full of a ridiculous amount of noise. A house full of people that were drunk, out of control, and stumbling all over the place. They were all strange faces.

 

I was not impressed.

 

I got dressed and ready to leave. I walked from my peaceful basement bedroom upstairs into a main floor of chaos. The kitchen table had been transformed into a beer pong table, each team had two players and the table was surrounded by 4 people on each side. The kitchen chairs were moved into the backround, all 8 of them, occupied by unfamiliar faces.

 

My roommate Kevin was the only one that I recognized and he was blasting dubstep mixing music for the party. We live in a community with family homes. The kid next door is probably laying in bed awake now thinking about how he wishes he was cool enough to join our house party (but you’re not even cool enough to sit with the cool kids on the bus so NO YOU CAN’T COME). Our house is too loud for my liking, so I’m leaving, I thought to myself.

 

As I got my things ready to go, Karlie found her way through my front door. I love this girl. She’s incredibly smoking hot, got a good personality, and is quite a smart girl from what I saw in her. We hugged each other and I relaxed a little. Finally, someone, I could have a conversation with, without wanting to punch in the face.

 

Karlie and Olya, her friend who I met previously at a party, came downstairs with me when I went to go for a rip. I put it out on the table and both girls partook. This made the party so much better.

 

Karlie and I got talking about Social Dynamics and Instagram. Social Dynamics in the industry is understanding it’s all a political game and that you have to build a relationship with the person that is your superior that controls your schedule and the shifts that you get. You have to build that relationship with him and put in the time and the energy to make it happen with any project that you pursue.

 

Karlie was talking about Instagram and she said that I need to figure out what niche I’m after. Am I looking to get girls to follow me and like my things? Am I looking to get guys to follow me and learn from me? Am I looking to get people following in me to hear my story?

 

Instagram would be a sick tool to get my writing out there. I could post a link to my blog on my Instagram.

I want to keep it to myself though. This way I have freedom of expression and I don't have to worry about who's going to see it, what their perception is going to be, how they will view me.

I found myself outside of the fire tonight. I came into my power and felt myself becoming stronger and stronger by the minute. Every part of me wanted to fight and be stronger, and grow, and get bigger, and do more, and help more, and be the best.

I feel my drive returning now. I'm not comfortable with complacency and I want to be the absolute best that I can be with the tools that I was given. This way when I fall short I know it's because I have some sharpening to do with my tools.

I ran into Thomas the other night at my house. He has no idea that I exist. I'm going to keep it quiet because there's no need to start something over nothing. It's crazy to think of the connection that I have with this girl that I just met that I don't even know and she has no idea who I am, yet I think about her and I wonder what she's doing and whether or not she's having a good time. I want to be close to her, I want to hold her, I want to look into her eyes, I want to feel her energy as it sucks me in and I lose all control as I feel her draw me in and I lose myself in her energy. There's something about her that I've never felt before in my life and I just want her close to me. I want to have more moments like the ones I had with her where I experienced an intimate connection I've never experienced in my life. I want her next to me, holding me, as I embrace her, and I promise her that everything's going to be alright.

I love the way that she feels.