Chapter 20

“Look at how big my baby’s gotten.” Karisma exclaimed sentimentally.

            She had swiped a new picture from Ibrahim’s Facebook account to show to Jarrod. Hayvn, coming up strong on her 11^th birthday, stood nonchalantly behind the shared tombstone of her grandmother, uncle, and aunt. Her reddish-brown ringlets were held back by a pink band and she wore a green quilted coat with faux fur at the collar and cuffs. Obviously, her Uncle Ibrahim was the one taking the picture and had captioned it.

            Saturday off, morning out in service, afternoon with G’Mama.

            “What’s out in service mean?” Jarrod asked avoiding the elephant in the room.

            “In Jehovah’s Witnesses speak that means they went door to door preaching.” She explained condescendingly as if he was a clueless idiot.

            “A little girl going preaching?”

            “Of course. What else are publishers supposed to do with their kids when they go out in the ministry, leave them at home alone? My daughter lives with my older brother in Louisville and he’s raising her in The Truth. She goes out with him. Some kids are so good they have their own return visits.” Though Karisma had not yet decided to commit to being one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, she talked about the organization as if it was one of the most natural things on Earth.

            “Lives with your brother?” Jarrod finally acknowledged Hayvn’s existence. “Where’s her dad?”

            “Ibrahim’s twin?” Karisma fought to hold herself together. “That’s what we want to know. Where the Hell is Isaac? He’s done so much fucked up s**t to our family over the years and refuses to face us.”

            “What’s that got to do with your little girl’s dad?”

            “Though I never could never bring myself to tell Mama this….Isaac is Hayvn’s biological father.” She said quietly.

            “Isaac is your brother, right?” Jarrod clarified.

            “Well, half-brother technically. Both Ibrahim and Isaac are my mother’s sons, as is Wisdom.”

            “And who’s Wisdom?”

            “My little brother, one of the two other people in the grave with my mother.” Talking about her younger siblings was easy and gave her a chance to get ahold of herself. She found another close-up picture of the grave and showed him on her phone.

            “Dorinda Rose Lewis, November 21, 1969-August 31, 2010. Machlon Kamal Wisdom “Wissy” Lewis-Gessinger, November 3, 1992-November 2, 2009. Amaris Janoah “No-No” Faith Lewis-Gessinger, July 5,1994-November 3,2009” He read skeptically. “No wonder your Moms died. You’ve got one fucked up family!”

            Karisma should have been insulted and outraged at his insensitive comment, yet she knew what he’d said was true. Her family was profoundly dysfunctional. Often, she had asked herself over the past decade or so if this was truly her life. From the birth of her daughter through incest to the abduction and presumed murders of her younger siblings, she questioned if this could be anyone’s real life. She at times wished that her sperm donor had succeeded in absconding to Brazil with her as a baby. The only thing she had been able to do to cope was run, far and fast, from the memories and reality, and run she had.

Reviews

[SweetNutmeg]

“Though I never could never bring myself to tell Mama this….Isaac is Hayvn’s biological father.” She said quietly.

I'm not convinced Karisma could so calmly reveal all this painful stuff without breaking down in some way. A break down could allow Jarrod to get a little more fleshed out, seeing how he reacts to this bombshell and Karisma's distress.

Once again, well written and moving.

[MeratheRestless]

I like the suggestion that it is alright for Karisma to come unglued in front of Jarrod.