Everyone's First Time

Everyone's First Time

A Poem by Speak in Silence

Crumpled photos
Broken glass
The house doused
With the smell of gas

Take the pills
Hope the pain subsides
Cut my wrist
Side to side

Damp pillow
Taste of tears
Fore I've cried myself to sleep
For many years

Mom says its abnormal
Dad says its what teenagers do
They just don't know
What I'm going through

Grab the bottle
Drink away the pain
The pills never help
Alcohol and drugs...I am constrained

"F**k life" I say
Put on my hood
None of this helps
But I wish it could

Hide the scars
Just to make more
Its not like they'll care
Walk down the stars, slam the door

Everyone sees the outside
Everyone sees the inside
Not much of a difference
Their both untied

Go to school
Everyone stares
Take the knife out
Its not like anyone cares

Write the note
Take my time
I've got ten minutes
Before the next bell chimes

Write the words
That will change his life
He will get them in time
I'm filled with strife

"Told you I was nothing
Told you I never would be
You told me there was nothing to worry about
I disagreed

I told you I loved you
You just agreed
Now I'm broken
It's you I bleed

You told me I would change you
Too bad it's not in a good way
Fore you've had so many times
But yet you always walk away

I forgive you
But never myself
For wasting time on you
And your stupid self

I hope sleepless nights
And drowning in rivers of tears
Because you will always see the blood on your hands
This was always one of your fears

You will never be able to repair
You will always be broken
Just like me
You will always be over-spoken"

Take my blade
Look one last time
Because I will always be
Everyone's first time

© 2012 Speak in Silence


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Author's Note

Speak in Silence
Don't really know where I got it from, but here it is. If you don't know I just start writing and whatever happens happens so here it is.

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Reviews

Wow. Just wow. This is amazing. The words flow beautifully, and it's rather easy to relate to. Good job and keep writing.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Speak in Silence

7 Years Ago

Thank you (:
This reminds me of what I used to write when I was ages 13, 14 and 15. Exactly like it. Only yours is way easier for me to read. This is very disheartening. Look at the talent. Your mind is that of a genius, you know. It's honestly an inconceivable phenomenon of sorts what teenagers go through. If you aren't one.. you DON"'T UNDERSTAND! And that disheartens the teenager because they truly are all alone.
But you just gotta believe that it's not how life is. You see how people are happy and stupid and giddy and bored and tired and bright and dark and artistic and lame all of these things? You see? You're in a darkness that should be relished. Keep writing, keep writing keep writing. One day you'll look back in a totally different mindstate/state of belief of how things are and who exactly "cares" about what you do and you'll hold on to those memories like treasure cuz you'll probably never feel the way you do ever again if you trust in yourself to be strong enough to hold out until it's over. It'll end. But no doubt your mind is in a bear trap it seemingly set on its own.
Where did it come from? You're realizing your superheroes are non existent. Become your own.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Speak in Silence

7 Years Ago

Thanks a ton! (:
Intense. I can appreciate it. i have felt that way a time or two or many times.....

Posted 7 Years Ago


Speak in Silence

7 Years Ago

I am glad you like it :)
it did sound more emo. I've heard this quite a few times already... People, especially kids who go overboard with their emotions, thinking that it's ok to hurt yourself and cry all day about how miserable their life is. It may take us time to figure out that being a loser won't take you anywhere away from that miserable corner. I know coz I've been there. Got through the wrist slitting phase and starve to death kind of thing. We have to remember that we're not alone in this kinds of experiences. That other people goes through the same thing. nice poem by the way...

Posted 7 Years Ago


Speak in Silence

7 Years Ago

I agree with about everything you said, this is not about me through (just to let you know) its just.. read more
Fréyjä Helvití

7 Years Ago

lol. Well i'm not saying it's about you. Just thought of sharing what I know. Maybe it would help a .. read more
Speak in Silence

7 Years Ago

Yeah I have went through some of that s**t too but thanks for the advise :)
awesome poem with a lot of emotion. Great job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Speak in Silence

7 Years Ago

Thanks :)
oooh, this is a good one.

yep, it gets on my LAST nerve when people who have never done what you do act like they know what you're goin through

100/100

Posted 7 Years Ago


Speak in Silence

7 Years Ago

Thank you :) and mine too
That is what i call raw venting of pain... broken love is the deepest kind of cut that bleeds the emotions dry.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Speak in Silence

7 Years Ago

Yes, I agree
Its really amazing. I wonder did that boy read the note by her or not? Otherwise its good. When people get heartbroken it just makes me sad.
Keep writing :)
100/100

Posted 7 Years Ago


Speak in Silence

7 Years Ago

Thanks :)
Anonymous Girl

7 Years Ago

Its okay :)
i admit i've been on this stage in my life. i did some of the things here. but i didn't regret what i did because those made the person i am now. really great job here.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Speak in Silence

7 Years Ago

I agree. Thanks :)

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514 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on September 2, 2012
Last Updated on September 2, 2012
Tags: cut, broken, glass, no one, fuck life, scars, pills

Author

Speak in Silence
Speak in Silence

NC



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Hi! My name's Victoria and I'm a Tumblr addict. I love bands and my doggie Scoutypoo. I like going in vintage and antique markets and I like the smell of old books. I like how the sun shines through.. more..

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