I still remember it as if it were
yesterday, which considering my memory is astonishing. I entered a room in
which the audience was completely captivated by this one person sitting in the middle;
I didn’t have to try hard to fathom the discussion since the room itself was
reflecting political energy. I glanced towards the speaker unaware of how he
would bewitch my body and soul in less than three months. He was wearing skin
colour shalwar kameez, the traditional attire for Pakistani males along with a
black Peshawari -Kehri; dressed in such conventional means for a public
purpose.
I waited for him to end his vigorous debate
and felt it to be courteous to wait outside in the mean time. I was slightly
nervous; this was all new to me, a new territory, new people, and a new system.
Little did I know that this building would soon become home and have a huge
impact on my life. Lost in my thoughts a handsome tall man walked by, his brown
curly hair shining in the sun and his glistening brown lens blood-shot eyes
glancing at me with curiosity. I didn’t expect him to be this tall, a surprise
I digested with delight. His physical features accredited him for being the
heart of a lively exuberant room, in which no one else dared challenge him. His
eyes did always stand out; even then; a distinction I would crave to see in the
coming years. The first time I saw them I quivered with fear, the red rheumy
eyes seemed to echo a story; I examined them with curiosity; naive of the fact
that one day they would echo mine.
As time went by, days turned into weeks and
weeks turned into months, I got to know him more and more. He gradually became the nucleus of my
existence; I was officially in awe of him. I was at his complete disposal, I
had surrendered the urge to displease him but I never did give up contradicting
him. I was always a lively and stubborn person, probably the two supreme
factors he liked best about me. Unlike the others, I would always challenge him
and then sit back and enjoy the adrenaline I would receive by his counter
arguments. Those brown eyes captivated me, enthralled me and led me on. Everything was going really fast, it was a
one-way roller-coaster; there was no looking back. In less than three months,
ninety days I was madly, passionately and irrevocably in love.
The feeling of love was rather new to me, a
huge bite I was unable to chew at that time which would eventually choke me to
death. Meeting him every day gradually
became a habit, initially it was a treat but it led to my suffocation and
magnified my existential crisis. Who was I? What had I become? Was I weak? Was
this what love was? Could the ‘love of my life’ belittle me without a second
thought? The job got harder, the days got longer but my love for him never died
down. He knew he could domineer me around, use me, play with me and throw me
away at his own will. Hitherto that day I first met him, I had been a strong
advocate of female rights, however all that changed. My opinions had been
manipulated, the facts had been altered, I was a mere statistic added to the
extensive study of women in an abused relationship...
Was it ever a relationship? He was a public
speaker, understood human psychology very well and was very conniving at his
game; politics. The American TV season ‘House of Cards’ has wonderfully
depicted and unveiled the sly nature of politicians. ‘The road to power is full
of hypocrisy and casualty. Never regret’ Frank Underwood the main character
disclosed in an episode, never in my worst nightmare did I imagine I would be a
part of the casualty. Never did I imagine he would throw me away with so much ease.
How silly was I? What use did he have of me? I was just an obstacle, a target
which had to be destroyed...
I hailed from the beautiful province of
Sindh, the only daughter of the Feudal Lord Malik Zubair Khusso, I was the
day-star of my father's life, till I turned into a supernova and exploded. Going back in memory lane everything seems
crystal clear now; I had challenged my father in a political arena by forming
an alliance with his biggest rival; I should have expected what was to come. My
Father was a great man but as I grew older he turned bitter, our relationship
got strained and I was vulnerable for a fatherly figure in my life. That is
where my ‘prince charming’ came in.
He was able to play with my vulnerability,
make me comfortable and then hurt me. I thought he loved me... How foolish of
me to think that a politician could love someone? Without my father’s name, I
was nothing to him. My decision was firm; if I were to challenge Malik Sahb I
wouldn’t do it with his name shadowing mine. A choice which changed the course
of everything and made the roller-coaster come crashing down. I thought my tall
handsome beau would be my sanctuary, I felt he would protect me, save me before
anything else. Instead, he saved everything but me...
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