When I'm Gone…

An essay and a free prose poem

We all know how short is Life. Some of us know ours will be shorter still. I have often felt that my life will not be long like those who came before me. My Gran lived to 90 and her mother lived to 89. A great, great grandmother (I think on my Gran's father's side) lived to 104. Frankly, I'm surprised to still be here at 51. I didn't try very hard to get here, that's certain. I never felt I had a reason to get here before I met my husband and we had our son. Now, I have so much to live for. But, I don't fret that I still feel I have little time left to me. I'm thankful every morning for another day… another day of seeing my son grow and become the wonderful person I can already see in him. 

I make now,

to all who know me, 

a request 

to remember me 

not with great, snot-gobbery tears, 

blobbing down emptily 

to dry and be forgotten. 

Celebrate me 

when I've passed. 

All I ask 

is that when I'm gone, 

in my name, 

please spend just one day… 

One day a year…

It's not too much to ask…

Spend a day

And think of my heart

Honor me

in some simple way

to make your corner of this world

A better place for others,

by service to those in need. 

Volunteer in a shelter. Lend your strength to a worthy cause, like Habitat for Humanity. Or spend a day helping feed the hungry and/or homeless. Spend a day volunteering in a nursing home. Do something like that in my name and that will be, to me, the best way I could ever be remembered.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree dear Poet.
"Volunteer in a shelter. Lend your strength to a worthy cause, like Habitat for Humanity. Or spend a day helping feed the hungry and/or homeless. Spend a day volunteering in a nursing home. Do something like that in my name and that will be, to me, the best way I could ever be remembered."
Gift of charity is the best way to remember a love one missed. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[MomzillaNC]

Thanks so much. I appreciate your perfect understanding of my intent.

[Coyote Poetry]

I did and you are welcome.

[Matching Socks]

Amen to that Momzilla.
I often volunteer my time and encourage my little ones to do so by involving them however I can.
Sorting food at the food back, organizing toys by age for the Xmas toy drive. It starts with building a strong community, and accepting everyone who is part of it.

[MomzillaNC]

I agree. My son likes to visit at the nursing homes. I encourage him to do so. He's always looking for a charity walk or other activity. He's trying to start a charity group through our church for the local food bank called, "Hope Wagons." He also raises money every year for the AHA Jump Rope for Heart campaign. He's among the highest contributors in our county (his teacher said he thought my son was the only elementary school child ever to raise over $1K on his own). He has a real heart for helping others. I hope he never loses that.

As you obviously do too, I believe we have to involve our children in our own efforts. We have to show them the way. Kids aren't likely to just spontaneously decide to do so; someone has to be their example. Let it start with me.

[Matching Socks]

Lead by example. :)
I believe that very much.

[MomzillaNC]

:D :D

[NeiL ArandA]

I see and perceived wisdom in this penned piece. I find so intriguing and puzzling that we don't come to terms of reality and mortality when we were in our teens, twenties and thirties until people hit 40. As the common quotes says- " life begins at 40 ". Perhaps its saying that its the period of time in our life when we finally came to a grip of life reality and our own mortality. Its the starting point when everything are slowly going down hill. Phone books names and numbers of family and friends are replaced now with Physician's name and numbers. I'm glad that the Scripture didn't kept us in the dark of these challenging changes we will soon experience in our life. Man used to lived around 900 + years until God Himself shortened it to just 120 years if we are blessed and lived a stress free life. But we shortened it when we are not a good custodian of our own body and abuse and misuse it in any way we can and want. By average the Scripture also gave us an average productive life span of 70 years or 80 years if we are still healthy. It is a very short time. We worked all our life and when we reached the retiring age of 65 we can sit and relax and enjoy the fruit of our labors. This is 5 to 10 years shy of the average mark of a productive life man have been designated with. We worked at the age of 18 and stopped at the age of 65. But less time to enjoy it. It's like Term Life Insurance. There's a cut off limit. Expiration date.

Trivial indeed as the author of Ecclesiastes said. To be in tune with reality. We are not even guaranteed tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. But only today. What you're saying in your last notes is that man should redeem the time by making choices and investing in some cause that really matters and thus leaves a lasting legacy to the family, friends, and people they will one day will leave behind. For time is very short . I wonder if pursuing God and to thirst to know Him is worth our best time and effort ...

Thank you for this post. Its indeed thought provoking.. This is my take upon reading this introspective piece.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. I'm honored my words sparked such thoughtful musings in you.

[NeiL ArandA]

Its my pleasure... I enjoyed your piece.

[MomzillaNC]

:) :)

[Marie]

ell I'll certainly think of you when I take little presents to the people in the day-car center just down the street. Although I imagine I will predecease you, since you are y oung enough to be mi daughter.

[Marie]

I enjoy excellent health and probably am not as grateful for it as I should be. You sound like a survivor, and I hope you live manyyears.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. I hope you live healthy and happy past 100 years old, surrounded by those who mean the most to you.

And, thinking about what I wrote in my above response overnight, I feel like I've shared too much. As I said in the that response, "I rarely expound on what I've survived -- frankly, everyone has a story and everyone's story includes nightmares." Because it's really over sharing and because I don't believe anyone really wants to know my troubles, I've deleted the whining commentary above. Sorry to have burdened you with it.

[Sami Khalil]

Very simple and honorable request. To all whom you have touched their lives, you will be remembered and appreciated. Many happy returns in the meantime...:).......

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)......................

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethi..]

A very humble request to the world which lacks what it needs the most at the moment 'humanity'.

Helping the helpless is a great virtue:) Thank you for spreading the message:)

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

If only it would be that easy to celebrate a life that morn the death of a loved one, cause that is how it should be.

[MomzillaNC]

I agree. Thanks.

[Einstein Noodle]

i lean toward my mother's side ... her oldest sibling is 108 and lives in her own home ... by herself... with friends, neighbors and family that check in on her throughout the week .. i will visit her in the next month or two :)))) there were three centenarians all alive.. at the same time in my family ... i expect to live to 110 .. at least :) on my dad's side it doesn't go past 78 or so :{ ...things are what they are ... it is curious .. the senses we have about such things .. and in the end
http://youtu.be/MY2StuP3rd4 ... i hope you check it!
i fully support your call to volunteer .. my favorites are Wounded Warriors, St. Jude's Children's Hospital and St. Andrews (feeding the hungry) .. these Societies have little to zip in overhead costs .. not like so many others with execs grabbing six figures and more ..
i will be honest now ... i really respect your expressions .. i am honored to be connected to you here on WC ... if upon your death ... i am made cognizant of it .. i guarantee i will morn your passing over .. for myself ... i hope to go happily :)) these sentiments expressed are deep felt weights of responsibility for us all to reflect, appreciate and love ... especially those close to heart .. what a fine write you have shared .. love to you Momzilla!! big time ..
be well
be happy
receive peace and joy and flower power ;)
E.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you very much. I especially appreciate the phrase, "deep felt weights of responsibility for us all to reflect, appreciate, and love…" I hope I may be wrong and will live long and well. Given the wealth of blessings I've already received, I can only live whatever time is allotted to me in gratitude for every new moment.

[MomzillaNC]

BTW: LOVE the Beatles song you referenced

[Einstein Noodle]

i will soon be 66 yrs old :) ... from time to time during my life .. in the 30's, 40's .. i found myself reflecting ... and concluding that if i were to die at those times (or anytime) i could leave satisfied with a life full of all kinds of experiences (a consummate risk taker and suffered intermittent states of rebellion) so i know what you are talking about .. seems as i edged the later 50's until now i am so happy with each day i can hardly stand it .. so i look more forward to another 40 yrs (at least) with glee ... i am not saying more is better for sure .. we dont really know but i love your poem and i love your sense of things (right or wrong) it causes us to pause and reflect on what is important .. your thoughts and words are beautiful!
E.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. I'm deeply honored by your commentary on my own humble musings.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a very reasonable request...one day a year, remember me, and do some good for others in my honor.

i like that...yes.
don't need pomp and circumstance...just some kind of pay it forward.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. I try to pass on that sentiment, that intent in my son. He definitely has a heart for service and charity…

[Woody]

such sad and heart-warming thoughts, Momzilla. I hope you'll live long enough to see your son on his graduation day, then on his first day at work, then on his wedding day. I also hope you'll hold your grandson proudly and think how much he looks like his father :)

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. I hope so too. But, I will live in gratitude for the blessings of each day and each milestone I am able to share.

[MomzillaNC]

Woody, my son graduated last June 2022. He graduated with honors from a prestigious magnate high school HSCA (health sciences career academy) and went straight into the county EMS academy. He is currently working as an EMT for the county and they are paying for him to train as a paramedic at the local community college.

I just thought you might like to know.

[therisa]

Myself, I just want a simple burial, but would be loved, to be remembered, as someone, who gave a damn, about the world, and tried to make a small difference, to those, around me, with simple gestures of kindness and understanding. Having seen, what many people choose to ignore, or fear.

[MomzillaNC]

Thanks for reviewing. I would hope we would all hold ourselves to such standard, and remember to consider how we will be remembered.

[therisa]

Sadly, Momzilla, some people want to be remembered, by the grand ceremony, and not, who they are.

[MomzillaNC]

The sadness in that is that they feel they leave no valuable remembrance behind… that they can only be remembered through pomp and glittery show… that, somehow, a grand ceremony gives value to their remembrance.